BP complained tonight on a business call that I am “fragile.” He means emotionally. He is right.
Sadly, I am right now a little emotionally fragile. I am worried and concerned and freaked out. I am trying not to be. I am trying to have faith, to have confidence, to be strong, but I am not quite getting there.
As usual, BP is freaking me out. He keeps telling me that he is not telling me all of the ins and outs of the business in which I am supposedly a partner. An equal partner, no less. I know he is trying to screw me, but I cannot figure out how. It’s what he does. He cannot help it. He is cheap, he is greedy, and he cannot stand having an equal partner.
But let’s be honest — I am not his equal partner. He has the contacts, he has the resume, he is putting up the capital. His offer of equal partnership is a gift to me, a reward for my loyalty, a sign of his love and respect. I mean, I deserve it and more, but I cannot kid myself that I am truly his equal in this venture.
The more I know he is keeping from me, the more fragile I become. He said he does not want to tell me the plan because he does not want me to inadvertently tell other people. I nearly spit into the phone “has that EVER happened?” He admitted it has not, but still, he says he is keeping his own counsel, although he might come to town tomorrow to meet with me to disclose all — and feed me (post-period, I dropped another two pounds, now 10 smaller than his preferred weight for me.)
He loves to keep me off-balance in all things, and then when I am flailing about or deciding that I just cannot deal with him and bounce, he accuses me of being fragile. No shit, dude. That’s your whole point. You tell me you like to keep me off-balance then you complain when I begin to glitch. You have no idea how many exits I have planned out of your crazytown.
