Building Walls

This week has been emotionally rough, but it has given me the needed kick in the ass to make some big decisions about the people in my life.
I am engaged in drama with a number of people and it’s just not what I want for my life. Some of them I cannot eliminate completely [...]

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“Years from Now”

BFD called this morning from his business trip.
The first thing he asked me about was the PPB deal. I told him there are some issues that I am working through, so I am undecided.
He told me he was taking time off today to enjoy himself by taking a young friend, the [...]

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Drama and Tears

The last two days have been horrible, but today is showing improvement.
I have realized some very important things: I will probably reject the PPB project, my friendship with W is in serious jeopardy, BP and I had our most dramatic blow-up ever and he told me he’d never speak to me again [...]

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Feeling Happy

I realize that I am probably ridiculously in love with BFD.
As I drove around today to various meetings and a working dinner with BP, I could not stop thinking about BFD. I saw his face everywhere.
Part of it is that I am driving the same car he drives — it [...]

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Being His Girlfriend

BFD called me this morning. Thought it was after 9:30 am, I was not yet fully awake.
He called to remind me he was leaving today to fly off for business. Except he had never told me he was leaving. Had I realized, I would have made plans to have seen [...]

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Big Comeback — Second Update

Tonight was wildly successful. I was completely in the zone. They had to sell me on accepting the deal at significantly more money than we would have accepted in our wildest dreams and I still left rather noncommittal.
Inside, I was jumping for joy. Outside, I was calm.
We ate in a [...]

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Big Combeback — Update

Since my initial conversation with PX, an old ex-boyfriend, last week about a project on which his powerful prominent boss PPB wants to hire me, things have been moving fast.
I immediately brought BP in who brought in our famous partner FP. This project is potentially career-making, and I am slowly becoming terrified. [...]

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Be Excellent

As the result of today’s conversation, I now know I am completely in control of my relationship with BFD. I knew that all it would take was “being excellent in [his] presence.” He needed to see me as professionally successful in order to want to move forward. We are not just [...]

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Date 19 — Domestic Tranquility

Tonight was Date 19 with BFD. We spent the evening at his place. I picked up food from Whole Foods and drove out to his place in the car.
When we spoke earlier to confirm, he said, [Plan], we need to figure out the car thing. I told I thought I’d give [...]

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Car Stress

Until late afternoon, I have been relatively stress-free. Money is a concern. I have some, but the car will be a strain initially.
In the late afternoon, BFD called to say he had checked on the status of the car deal and, from what they said to him (nothing), it is clear [...]

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