Missing BFD

BFD is still away at training camp and I miss him.
After 7 months, I know he’s completely engaged in what he’s doing. As he starts to pack, he thinks of home more specifically. I may hear from him when he is en route. The last time he traveled for sport, I did [...]

Read Full Post »

The Big Presentation

I have a big presentation to make tomorrow. I have known the date since Sunday night. I have ideas, I have some research, I have some sketches, . . . I have no presentation.
You would think this would make me nervous, but it doesn’t. The presentation is a larger version [...]

Read Full Post »

About Me, Now

Though I have things I really geek out about, I almost never talk about them here, mainly because I have very specific, very identifiable taste. The things I love . . . I tell everyone I love them.
I am often teased for being overly enthusiastic, so I have dialed back that part of my [...]

Read Full Post »

Valueless Opinions

All of the people in my life have opinions about BFD, but all of their opinions are anchored so firmly in their own lives and outlooks that they are valueless. Seriously! Over the past four days, E’s girlfriend K, W, and BP have all offered such bullshit advice and concern that I struggled [...]

Read Full Post »

Safety Net, or the Lack Thereof

The song playing in my head is Beirut’s Postcards from Italy. Unless it’s an inescapable earworm, the music playing in my head is always relevant to how I am feeling, even if I don’t yet realize it.
Perhaps to stretch this idea out to an absurdity, like Postcards, my feelings are hard to pin down. [...]

Read Full Post »

A Small Beastie

I am watching the cat track some small beastie that got in through the pipes or the open door. She is a princess of a cat, but quite a hunter. We hear it move from time to time, its tiny feet on the bamboo floor.
The other thing I hear is the [...]

Read Full Post »

A Date That Lives In Infamy

On this date more than twenty years ago, I was raped by someone I knew. I was a very young teenager and I made a stupid decision to get very drunk at a party at my boyfriend’s house. That was the last decision I made.
I left the party, being essentially [...]

Read Full Post »

Date 31

Date 31 was short. The sex was great. Our new moves (and there are always new moves) were really hot. Everything else was frustrating. Now, I am contemplating what to do.
I am viewing this through the prism of pms and a unique set of circumstances, but the bottom line is I [...]

Read Full Post »

Weighty Issues 6 — Back on the Plan

In January, I freaked out a little bit when my weight dropped to 115. Starting when I broke through 118, I wrote a series of posts about my “Weighty Issues,” obsessing with my body image problems and trying to convince myself to stop losing. I didn’t. Thanks to illness and stress, within [...]

Read Full Post »

This is Bad …

A couple of days ago, BFD asked for JerkFace’s contact info to invite him to do a sports training thing with him gratis for a few weeks. Tonight, I arrived home to the two emails BFD sent to JF making the invitation.
My initial fear was that they would become friends without me. My [...]

Read Full Post »