Personal Business

I had a business call with BFD today, which is always interesting.  We do really well on the business stuff, but he’s very difficult and can be tempermental.
I called him because he sent a document that looked “off.”  I have a macbook pro, he has some old dell and the transfer from his machine to [...]

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“Take a Stand and Tell Him”

Part of my planning nature is always planning an exit.  A quick, painless getaway.  To that end, I’ve made zero commitment to BFD.  The pain, the love, the emotion I express here: absent in real life.  I have never told him how I feel.
N-e-v-e-r.
To be honest, I’ve never demonstrated it much either.

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To Hurt

I have songs firmly implanted in my head that describe subconsciously how I feel before I am aware of how I feel.
As I had my existential crisis yesterday, playing in my head was a line from Kristin Vigard’s version of “God Give Me Strength” from the film Grace of My Heart:  “I want him . [...]

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What a Difference a Day Makes . . .

One good night’s sleep and I feel really, really good.
What a wonderful idea to publish my journal online.

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Today’s Existential Crisis …

I am still in the middle of it.  I am on the verge of tears, or crying, or bravely Not Crying, or blinking back Tears That Aren’t There.
I have no idea what is going on, all I know is I am losing my mind.
I was at the fancy mall returning a pair of fab gold [...]

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Decisions? Decisions. Decisions!

It’s 1:56 am and I have had a long, strange day.  I had a bad date with BFD — nothing bad happened, he was in pain and it was all awkward and weird (and sexless) by the end.  I spent the day looking for cars with W and JF, and BFD is holding me to [...]

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Weight Loss Tips

Okay, so I have lost almost 8 pounds in 3 days . . . mostly water, but it happened because I went back on my plan.
Everyone’s body chemistry is different, but for me, the easiest way to lose weight is to cut carbs and stop drinking wine.
I do monitor my calories closely, but I snack [...]

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The Weight Thing 2

Five days ago, I was concerned because my weight had crept up 5 pounds over my freakout limit of 118.  (My weight had been over 118 for 14 days total while I experimented with a slightly larger body.)
The next day, it was up 4 pounds more (sushi rolls, barbecued spare ribs).  Sadly for me, that [...]

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A Non-Date — Date 37

I am loath to call this a date because it’s not.  In fact, I was not prepared at all for what happened.  It’s clear that BFD and I are no longer dating, and probably haven’t been for a while.  We are in a relationship, so counting tonight as a date is a bit absurd.  And [...]

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The Weight Thing

I have put on 5 pounds over my OMG upper limit of 118.
It’s not noticeable to most people — I look a little younger, a little more womanly, my ass is more impressive.  Everyone thinks I look better.  Seriously.  The jump from 113 to 118 to 123 has left people thinking, wow, you look good.  [...]

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