Crazy Days

I am using twitter rather than full blog posts because things are very busy and it’s hard to think through things enough for even my random, illogical musings.
But, there are big things happening. I have a birthday next week, which is no longer freaking me out. It’s not a big one, [...]

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We Are Who We Are

From Saturday morning:
I am feeling very sad this morning.  Things with BFD just don’t feel right.  I know I do this often — I called him yesterday and he didn’t call me back.  That’s become unusual — him not calling back.
What I am struggling with is how to overcome this arms-length distance at which he’s [...]

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Reflections on Date 42

So, here’s the thing . . .
His stress and weirdness on which I am giving him a pass for another week is affecting me — and it’s making me think he’s a total asshole.  In fact, I have been telling him he’s an asshole.
I am already envisioning life without him.  I am already moving on.  [...]

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Date 42 — The First Workout

BFD is an athlete, who works out regularly — he runs, he lifts weights, he swims — all in order to be more competitive in his sport.
I . . . am not.  I have suffered a series of stress fractures in my foot, and I can no longer do my preferred exercise at all.  I [...]

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4 Pound Goal: Day 4 Up 2.2

Seriously, I am up 2.2 pounds because yesterday I had 20 tortilla chips and salty skirt steak.
I am extremely pissed that a blip causes that much bloating in me, but it does.
This is why I like to weigh myself every day.  I know why it went up 2.2 pounds.  I expect, at some point, it [...]

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4 Pound Goal: Day 3, Down 1.2

Weight: 117.8, down 1.2 pounds for the day and 2 pounds overall.
Morning frittata:  1 egg, 1 egg white, .5 tbs of olive oil, .5 tbs of heavy cream, .25 oz  cow feta.
Lunch: 3.0 oz 91% ground beef, 2 oz organic baby greens, 1 tbs fresh chipotle vinaigrette.
Snack: 2 tbs walnuts.
Snacks: 1.5 oz fresh mozzerella.
Dinner: 5 [...]

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Diet: FAIL

I did so well today, and in an hour, undid all my hard work.
I ate at least 20 tortilla chips while sitting at a tex mex place.  Grrr.
I ate them at the end because the carbs made my cramps and back pain better.  They really did.
Ah, well.  I didn’t drink along with my friends, but [...]

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Noms de Plume

I have a few names I use for different things, and some online identities I’ve had for a decade or more that are familiar to certain groups of my friends.  A more public blog, easily identified as me by anyone with whom I’ve spoken for more than 20 minutes, exists along with a widely known [...]

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4 Pound Goal: Day 2, Down 0.8

Weight: 119.0, down 0.8 pound.
Morning frittata:  1 egg, 1 egg white, .5 tbs of olive oil, .5 tbs of heavy cream, .25 oz  cow feta (I should not have skipped the good stuff, no matter that this was 1/4 the price on sale at WF).
Lunch: 1/2 beef philly sausage, 2 oz organic broccoli florets, 1 [...]

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Low Energy Day

Today is a low energy day.  PMS is now over, so my back is killing me.
I had a bunch of conference calls that canceled at the last minute, and no responses back to docs I sent out last week and this weekend, so I am in a lull.  I needed a lull.  It’s been stressful [...]

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