Vision — An Afternoon and Evening with BP

When things are going very, very well for me, I feel as though I can I see everything around me, and that I can see everyone else’s view of everything around me, too. I have not felt this way in a very long time — maybe 18 months, maybe longer.
Instead, I have been trapped [...]

Read Full Post »

Two Questions

My ex A is still one of my best friends.  We have been family to each other for nine years, though we split up almost two years ago.
Because he is attending an intensive 2.5 month training program for his new blue collar career, we have not seen much of each other lately and I have [...]

Read Full Post »

Finishing the Project

My big project is not done. It’s not ready. I know I have a reason for the delay, but I don’t yet know what it is. I am not overly concerned about it.
With what I do, this planning thing, I can’t rush it. If it’s not ready, it’s not ready. [...]

Read Full Post »

The Big Presentation

I have a big presentation to make tomorrow. I have known the date since Sunday night. I have ideas, I have some research, I have some sketches, . . . I have no presentation.
You would think this would make me nervous, but it doesn’t. The presentation is a larger version [...]

Read Full Post »

Stress, Money, and a Life Vest

My stress level keeps spiking, which is negatively impacting pretty much everything. I have a few important things to accomplish, but I am distracted by money concerns.
BP and I are battling and our relationship is tenuous at best. I keep thinking he is moving on without me. He says he’s [...]

Read Full Post »

Small Talk

At least 10 times last night, I thought to myself, I could be with BFD instead of standing around with these small time people. Ugly, sure, but seriously, last night was such a waste of my time.
Instead of having sex with BFD, I was bored out of my mind. I spoke to one [...]

Read Full Post »

The Center of Attention

I am tempted to make this post private because it is slightly more obnoxious than the normal “woe is me, my rich hot boyfriend is too busy running his business to call me” bs. I know it was much more fun when I was just trying to close a deal and lose 35 pounds [...]

Read Full Post »

“Developing a New Skill Set”

BFD just called me midday after returning from a long day trip out of state yesterday to clarify some points from our email argument from the day before.
I wrote him a long email that I did not send that addressed all of issues he raised. As I put the final touch on it, he [...]

Read Full Post »

Drama and Tears

The last two days have been horrible, but today is showing improvement.
I have realized some very important things: I will probably reject the PPB project, my friendship with W is in serious jeopardy, BP and I had our most dramatic blow-up ever and he told me he’d never speak to me again [...]

Read Full Post »

Big Comeback — Second Update

Tonight was wildly successful. I was completely in the zone. They had to sell me on accepting the deal at significantly more money than we would have accepted in our wildest dreams and I still left rather noncommittal.
Inside, I was jumping for joy. Outside, I was calm.
We ate in a [...]

Read Full Post »