Today’s PMS Freak-Out

I have been missing LP.
I know it’s early, but I really like him. We’re very similar . . . and since I am a narcissist, well, I am kinda crazy about him.
Last week, we exchanged hundreds of texts, talked on the phone until the wee hours (including after we’d just seen each other), and [...]

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Lingering Pains

I am awake early (for me) on a Wednesday morning. I am in pain — mostly physical, but I have some heart pain this morning, too.
Last night, I went downtown for my workout with BFD. I knew he would not be there . . . he’s away on business (as usual). The [...]

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The Sick Bed

Sunday was always going to be a hard day. LP was still working, he had an important familial obligation. I was still feeling weird about our first date, so I texted him to ask if he wanted to meet for a drink later while I was going to be 2 blocks from his [...]

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Intensely Intense (First Date with LP), Overview

Last night was my first date with LP.
We essentially had a 6 month relationship over the course of 5 or 6 hours. We fought, we made up, we withdrew, we connected, we called each other out on our bullshit, and I have no idea now, 12 hours after I arrived home, how I [...]

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Intensely Intense (First Date with LP), Part 2

In the car, we went all tense and sideways for about 5 minutes, which in retrospect, sucks and was signficantly bitchy of me, but I was already mostly over it, but cranky because he’s making me deal with it, when I just wanted to be all “grrrrr” and then over it. We headed off [...]

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Intensely Intense (First Date with LP), Part 1

Here is my first date with LP. Oh, you are all going to HATE this. Whee!!!!!
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LP and I exchanged texts all day. I have been teasing him about using the conditional mood rather than the future tense, so he decided to be incredibly provocative. The end result: I drew a very [...]

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Date Zero with LP

Tonight, I saw LP for the first time in 8 months. I was home after a long afternoon with BP (during which I admitted that BFD and I had split [although not completely, so all of this is wonderful and complicated . . . argh]) and everything else canceled, so he texted me to [...]

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The Delicate Balance

I am getting very excited about LP. He’s adorable, attentive, ridiculously successful, and genuinely likes me, not that he actually knows me yet, of course.
In the meantime, I still have a relationship with BFD, though strained and constrained and perhaps irrevocably broken. But, perhaps not.
LP emailed me last night on the way to [...]

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“My BFD”

It’s getting hard to write lately because I am incredibly busy and when I am not incredibly busy, I am spending slightly less time staring at my navel.
I am just as ego-centric, I am becoming less reflective.  This is not a positive development.
I am still sorta dating BFD, but I was traveling and then he [...]

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The Break Date (Day 7)

Every conversation I have with BFD operates always on two levels, the words we actually say and the meaning we know is in the other’s mind.  The most shocking thing to me about all of BFD’s big reveals about his feelings is that I knew exactly what they were.  He always knows what’s troubling me [...]

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