Reflections on a Lazy Sunday

I have stopped posting every day for no good reason except that I am boring, busy, and giddily involved in a new relationship where we’re being adorable for no good reason.
I mean, how interesting would “googled LP again, he’s even cooler than I thought” be?  Okay, maybe a little interesting . . .
I am dealing [...]

Read Full Post »

The First Night (Date 5)

LP, who had been working like mad all week and weekend and moving and being a dad, wanted to pick me up at 9 after he’d wrapped up at the office on Sunday night to show me his new house.
He was delayed and it was starting to get late. Before he arrived, after confirming [...]

Read Full Post »

A Family Saturday, and the Return of LP

I awoke before my alarm this morning. I don’t remember the last time I set an alarm for anything. My alarm clock was only on the correct time because A stayed here last month. For me, it had been flashing since the last time the power went out.
But I set an alarm [...]

Read Full Post »

Vision — An Afternoon and Evening with BP

When things are going very, very well for me, I feel as though I can I see everything around me, and that I can see everyone else’s view of everything around me, too. I have not felt this way in a very long time — maybe 18 months, maybe longer.
Instead, I have been trapped [...]

Read Full Post »

My Favorite Exes

At the end of a hideously bad day, I met W for a glass of wine at my neighborhood dive bar. It’s not a real dive bar. It’s a hipster dive bar, but I love love love it. They have excellent food (see, not a real dive bar) and I like the [...]

Read Full Post »

Disordered Thinking

I am under a tremendous amount of stress and pressure, much of it financial, some of it personal, and some of it a combination of the two (I owe my ex-ish BFD money, which sucks).
I don’t have much money right now, so I am being careful with what I am eating at home, and I [...]

Read Full Post »

Miss Congeniality

I am currently obsessed with my workout.  Obviously.  In fact, I am more obsessed with my workout than I am with BFD.
A few weeks ago, we had a new trainer start and I have “beacquaintanced” her, not quite “befriend,” but we are warm.  She speaks to me before and after class, and she is always [...]

Read Full Post »

Feeling Good

Nina Simone was playing at the bar tonight where I grabbed a quick post-workout dinner, but I am feeling good.  I really am.
There are a lot of shitty things going on — stress with BFD, financial pressure, problems with BP, etc., ad nauseam, but I am feeling good.
Tonight, I had my Tuesday workout and it [...]

Read Full Post »

An Anniversary of Sorts

A year ago, BFD and I exchanged email for the first time . . . for hours.  It was amazing and led within days to the best first date ever.
Right now, we’re not in a good place.  We may get back there, but we may not.  I am still dating him, still having sex with [...]

Read Full Post »

The Break Date (Day 7)

Every conversation I have with BFD operates always on two levels, the words we actually say and the meaning we know is in the other’s mind.  The most shocking thing to me about all of BFD’s big reveals about his feelings is that I knew exactly what they were.  He always knows what’s troubling me [...]

Read Full Post »