“Ten Minutes to Kiss” (Date 6)

I have floated home.  Okay, maybe not floated, but I am still beaming 3 hours after I last kissed LP.
LP works absurdly hard and right now, his schedule is insane.  He is working 7 days a week, often 18 hours a day.  Needless to say, we don’t have a lot of time to spend together.
This [...]

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My Favorite Exes

At the end of a hideously bad day, I met W for a glass of wine at my neighborhood dive bar. It’s not a real dive bar. It’s a hipster dive bar, but I love love love it. They have excellent food (see, not a real dive bar) and I like the [...]

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Lingering Pains

I am awake early (for me) on a Wednesday morning. I am in pain — mostly physical, but I have some heart pain this morning, too.
Last night, I went downtown for my workout with BFD. I knew he would not be there . . . he’s away on business (as usual). The [...]

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Miss Congeniality

I am currently obsessed with my workout.  Obviously.  In fact, I am more obsessed with my workout than I am with BFD.
A few weeks ago, we had a new trainer start and I have “beacquaintanced” her, not quite “befriend,” but we are warm.  She speaks to me before and after class, and she is always [...]

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An Anniversary of Sorts

A year ago, BFD and I exchanged email for the first time . . . for hours.  It was amazing and led within days to the best first date ever.
Right now, we’re not in a good place.  We may get back there, but we may not.  I am still dating him, still having sex with [...]

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The BP Affair — One Year Later

Today is one year since the start of my wildly passionate, bizarre and brief romantic relationship with my business partner BP.
In many ways, BP was the perfect first post-A relationship.  He spoiled me, protected me, and wooed me.  He is a cosmopolitan, erudite, successful semi-retired business man.  Tall and handsome, he is a commanding presence [...]

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Reflections on Date 42

So, here’s the thing . . .
His stress and weirdness on which I am giving him a pass for another week is affecting me — and it’s making me think he’s a total asshole.  In fact, I have been telling him he’s an asshole.
I am already envisioning life without him.  I am already moving on.  [...]

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Breaking the Fourth Wall

I genuinely appreciate that people actually read this, remember things, and care.  Seriously, it means so much to know that people are paying attention and keeping me accountable.
When I originally started NNP, it was to chronicle my weight loss journey “publicly.”  I believed that in daily posting what I was eating, how I was exercising, [...]

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Words that Haunt/Hurt

I have not yet unpacked my feelings about what he said or figured out what he meant.
Whenever it comes to BFD, I am wildly insecure.  I am incapable of telling him how I feel for fear of rejection, I am incapable of telling him what I want because I am not certain how open he [...]

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A Valediction

I am tempted to send this message to BFD: “in case i don’t tell you often enough, thank you for everything.”  I’ve been staring at the open email for 20 minutes.  It feels like a valediction.
We just had such a strange conversation that I feel the need to cap it with a valediction, to wish [...]

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