I am trying to not freak out about the cat being ill. She’s not up bothering me yet. She’s not crying for her food. So it could be a normal day, or she could be ill.

She hasn’t thrown up again. Her behavior is fairly normal — I am trying really hard not to check on her constantly and freak her out with my stress. She seems fine, but it’s scary to be alone dealing with her by myself and it’s scary to be poor (although, my mother offered to pay as much as it takes to get her well, obviously). I texted the ex to let him know she was ill, but he was in class. He finally called hours later when he got the message. I know she’s a cat, but she’s my cat. After all the years we were together, she became “our” cat, and it’s rough that she’s ailing.

The deal I am working on — the one that makes my friends question my sanity because I am still working on it — is still delayed behind the bellwether we’re watching. Because they are stupid (and they are), our deal is delayed. It’s beyond aggravating and the combination of my pile of bills and a possible feline illness is making me think hard about finalizing my resume rather than finalizing this contract and overview.

Now, rather than do what I am supposed to do, I am playing tech support with my mother — helping her set up the Hue HD webcam my golden child brother sent her so she can video chat with him and the grand-dog. It’s adorable, but my mother has an iBook so we’re not using the same system or software and she gets easily irritated. Eventually we’ll upgrade her computer (golden child has a macbook; I have a macbook pro and the macbook I bought for the ex when I was flush), but for now, she’s annoyed that she can’t get the damn thing to work.

Then, Q called from LA to say not “hey, how are you?” but “hey, what’s the royalty rate for [his project]?” and all I could think is “JFC, dude, leave me alone!” Argh. Instead, I dutifully told him that were I the producer, which, technically, I guess I am, there would be no royalty payment. We would do a flat-rate work-for-hire deal. Since he’s the [writer], that doesn’t work for him, so we’ll do a royalty deal for the company along with the licensing.

I am excited for him, and by extension me, I suppose, that his project is going to happen. I attended the first

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in LA in 2004 and he’s been shepherding it and cultivating it ever since.

Still, overall, it’s been a bad day full of anxiety and I am still very concerned about the furball sleeping in the bedroom.