One of my favorite blogs is Eleanor’s Trousers. She writes beautifully, and I often find things to think about when I read her. As I was winding down after an action-packed and conversation-filled day yesterday, I read this post: Why I Voluntarily Live With a Crazy Person. Basically, it’s all of the reasons why she loves her partner, and it’s lovely. Seriously, you should read it.
But, I had two thoughts about what I read: first, wow, it would be amazing to have someone in my life so loving and caring; and second, I have never ever been attracted to anyone like that.
The men in my life have not been particularly sweet, caring, etc. I mean, they’ve all done caring things, I suppose (like the ex washing my hair when I had a broken arm or everything he did for me when I was bedridden for weeks, like buying me new books every three days to keep me from going completely stir-crazy), but none of them were particularly sweet or romantic.
The only common thread among the significant men in my life is that I find them interesting. Really that’s it: a variety of ages, ethnicities, and styles, nearly all were objectively handsome, and had absolutely nothing in common with each other aside from dating me.
(Okay, except for the array who all did exactly the same rare, highly skilled thing, but my feeling was always “if you can date [someone who does that], why wouldn’t you?” It’s like a man dating a model. Given the opportunity, who wouldn’t?)
I was chatting with my business partner BP yesterday and I mentioned in passing that I had a very particular rooting interest against a candidate in this year’s presidential election because I had dated a politician and they had history. I gave him the whole backstory, which convinced him that my rooting interest was the right path.
He was surprised to hear I dated that politician. He has only known me for 4 or 5 years and I had been with the ex since before he met me. He figured he had my taste pretty nailed down, but the politician threw him for a loop. For that matter, I never told him I dated a college coach or an art historian, which he might find equally surprising.
To me, they are all completely consistent: men I find interesting.
I dare say the next Mr. Planner will an interesting man — at least to me. Other than that, he could look any way, and do anything (or nothing). I just don’t see myself falling for someone romantic because it’s never happened.
Instead, I have fallen for strivers and slackers, philosophers and philosopher kings, entrepreneurs and entertainers, athletes and educators, and yes, a politician.