I am surprisingly happy today. It helps to step on the scale and see another 1.2 pounds gone. The gains of my two weeks of pms are but a distant memory.
I feel good in my skin — and not just because I look more like me (though that does have something to do with it). I am more confident again. I am not faking it (anymore). I really feel like the real me again. I can tell that I am bubbly and happy. I spent all of the waiting time chatting with the next person in line, which is something I might not have done months ago.
I forget sometimes about the dark cloud A cast over my life with his depression, coupled with the stress and strain of my guilt over the hit our finances took when I was working on this deal. Now that I am only responsible for myself, it’s so much easier to deal with what I have done and what I am doing.
Anyway, he was over for a bit, and he was depressed. I was sad for him, but I did not feel responsible for his depression, which is a huge change for me. He is taking a supplement that has really changed his outlook — unfortunately, he ran out and he said it was hard to get out of bed again. He just got another bottle in, so he should be improving soon.
I spoke to each member of my family this evening. My brother in New York was telling me tales of his harrowing day chasing his dog through Williamsburg while running an errand and of his new 6x/week gym habit, my mother was shopping for a new purse and relaxed since we finally sent off her presentation, and I even called my father (we are not close) who was thrilled I voted for Obama.
The cat is improving. She’s becoming chattier, and she’s more mobile. She actually got out of bed to sit with me in the living room as I type this.
Overall, this was a pretty great day because I feel pretty great. The better I feel, the more I reach out and connect, and then the better I feel.