Tonight, I went out with E and JF — two of my best friends, who are both male lawyers in their mid to late 30s. Overall, it was an excellent evening.
Toward the end of the evening, we were still marveling at the fact that the young woman we were with (in whom JF was interested) graduated from high school five years after we graduated from law school (!!!). Then the guys realized she was the same age as E’s current girlfriend and JF’s most recent girlfriend.
Inevitably, I suppose, E and JF began discussing my dating prospects and the fact that I am 10 years older than their girlfriends. Their perspective is that my next man will need to be older (at least mid-40s) because I am now too old to date someone my own age.
It’s ridiculous and absurd. I began to defend my prospects and then thought better of it and joined in the joking about my next man being elderly.
I have a good handle on who I am and how I present to the world. I am not concerned about being aged-out of dating someone my age. Sure, I still have weight to lose (12-13 pounds), but I am a perfectly respectable weight right now. I am not a knock-out, but I am pretty. I’ve dated wonderful men and, though with A, I’ve been actively pursued by extremely eligible men over the past couple of years, while in my mid-30s and, frankly, kinda fat.
I have done well with men in the past based largely on who I am, not how I look. I am confident that who I am will continue to attract the type of men I find interesting.
As the evening drew to a close, JF mentioned that his boss would be perfect for me — rich, successful, important job, very fit, blah, blah, blah. “Plus, he’s in his mid-40s.” Okay, so I might have been a bit strident in voicing my objection at the time, and I have already begun to reconsider. I have dated 3 men at least 9 years older, so I have no general objection. My objection was being told I was too old to date someone my own age, which I believe is patently untrue.