I have under ten pounds to go.

I need to say that again — I have under ten pounds to go!

When I began all of this in 2005 with lots of stalls and plateaus and early failures, and then again low carbing last March, I just did not know if it could happen.  My real target was 135 because I did not think I could really get to 125.  I knew if I got to 135, I would be happy with how I look and how I feel.

I have lost 35 pounds so far, none of them easy.  There are deprivations; there are things I miss that I know I may not have again.

As a result of my diet, I have beaten my carb cravings and I have beaten my need to relieve stress with food.  I know I will never be a stress eater again.  If I can absorb all the problems this week without baking the cookie dough in the fridge and eating the turtle ice cream in the freezer (or A’s pizza in the fridge) while suffering from pms , I feel quite confident I can overcome anything.

When I was successfully thin before, no food was tempting enough to keep me from having the body I want.  I would indulge from time to time.  I could eat a huge slice of chocolate mousse cake at the club or drink fruity cocktails or margaritas with no ill effects so long as everything was in balance.  When my health failed and I was sick for so long, everything spun out of control and I was never quite able to get it back.  Then I just stopped trying.

Money, Career, and Friends Update

I had lunch with E and JF today.  W was out of town, so he did not join us.  They gave me money.  Ah, the humiliation continues.  JF understands better than the others the truth of what has been happening because he’s been more intimately involved.  We sat outside on the patio at a favorite restaurant for a couple of hours enjoying the reason we all live in this town: the gorgeous weather we have about 6 months out of the year.  It’s in the mid 70s, no humidity, not a cloud in the sky.  There were lots of dogs on the patio; cyclists for a post-ride meal; and many friends gathering for late lunches on a lazy Sunday.

After E left, JF and I remained, talking.  He knows he’s been hard on me.  We know we love each other, and really next to A, he’s probably my best friend to whom I am not related by blood.  It was good to see him, and good to know I have his support.  He has less money than the other two, so the fact he gave me anything is ridiculous and wonderful.

This evening, BP called.  Finally.  As I assumed, he’s been ill and incapacitated all week here in town.  Something odd is happening, but I will have to wait until we meet to discern what it is.  He’s such an odd duck.  I am well-pleased with my decision to move on with what I am doing and to begin floating my resume.

JF suggested I look for contract work in the interim during my search.  I have some additional ideas to float to BP that will ensure some financial stability.  Tomorrow should be an interesting day.

Weight Loss — 0.8 pounds

I lost a significant amount of weight from yesterday, but I assume it’s almost all water.  Still, I have been bloated for so long, it’s nice to see it ending.

Food Intake —

No idea on calories because of my salad.  I would guess it had over 600 cal (oops, maybe 800).  Weight will be up tomorrow, though I ate well under 20 carbs for the day.

2 oz chorizo. 1.5 oz spring mix. 1/2 oz feta.

steak salad at td.  no idea on calories.  here is a guess:  sour cream 52 cal/1 carb. guacamole 72 cal.  4 oz sirloin 252 cal.  salad greens, 10 cal. vinaigrette, 150 cal. 1/2 cup cheese 275 cal.  810 cal.

4 tbs almonds. 216 cal/4 carb.

1/2 cup kefir. 60 cal/4.5 carb.

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