I am mentally exhausted and I am cranky.  I worked hard all weekend. 

We had the big meeting on Saturday.  It was big.  Then I had more meetings.  

I was in a meeting for 7 hours yesterday and then on a call for another 2 hours last night.  I was so cranky by 11 pm (still on the phone, still working) that I could barely manage to pay attention or think critically.  All I could manage to say, through semi-clenched teeth, is “I understand what you are saying, but I disagree.  Do not mistake my disagreement for lack of understanding.  Despite my disagreement, if this is what you want it to say, I will make the changes you want.”  How do I remember what I said so clearly?  I said it every fucking 8 minutes for about 5 hours.

I do the same thing — you assume that you are not being understood when you face strong disagreement, so you re-explain and just know that once you’re understood, the other person will agree.  It’s stupid.

Overall, despite the fact I am completely mentally exhausted, things look good.  We’re moving forward.  The chances are very good we will close.  

What it means if we close: A gets the condo.  

A helped support me while I worked on the deal, so I want to do something for him, especially since he will not directly benefit.  I figured I’d give him a significant amount of money to make up for the sacrifice.  He had a better idea — he wants the condo and he’ll pay 1k over what I paid when I bought it.  Yes, I lose about 100% — we bet and won big on this place.  That means I will give him the amount I wanted to give him anyway.  I figured I’d also throw in 25k.

My mother — not thrilled, but I think it’s the right thing to do.  I love A.  He should live here.  

As soon as I told him the deal might close, I read this thought “I am going to live here.”  I called him out on it and he was shocked and laughed: “How did you know?”  I gave him my “seven years” refrain.  I know how his mind works.  He knows mine.

Then, we had the car discussion.  I need a new (or newish) car.  I have a couple of cars I am considering.   When he asked me about cars, he just started saying “no, no, no, no, no you can’t, no.”  I asked him what he thought I wanted and he could not remember the make, but he described it perfectly and told me it’s a ridiculous car.  It is a ridiculous car. 

I still want it.  I fell for this car before I ever saw it in person.  I was flipping through the club magazine and saw an ad.  I was smitten.  I am the farthest thing from a car person, but I still want this car.  It’s beautiful.  It growls.  I love this car.  I want this car.  I will almost definitely not get this car.

He gave me an alternative.  It’s nice.  It’s powerful.  It’s not too ridiculous, though it’s somewhat ridiculous.  He’s probably right.  Scratch that, he’s definitely right.  

Between my meetings and my conference call yesterday, BP and I drove to the dealership to look at A’s suggestions.  It was a good idea, but no.  Still, I found my new dream car, which is apparently in our budget.  It was a nice break in the day of meetings, but I am really not looking forward to another day of meetings and conference calls and bs.

Plus, I am supposed to attend a cocktail party and I just do not want to go.  It’s a big party, but I am exhausted.  I just want 4 hours to myself.