I am too damn old to have frenemies, but I actually do have a couple. I rarely think of these people who used to be my friends until they betrayed me in one way or another (usually by speaking out of school), but who are still friends of my friends. I am pleasant and friendly, but not affectionate.
Today, I spent a couple of hours with a frenemy in a meeting. To the outside world, we appear to be friends. But, I know that he tried to get BP to fire me (not understanding we’re close friends and partners) and that he tried to get Q to fire me (not understanding that we’re close friends and partners). It’s absurd that he thinks they would, but he tried and still tries. My crime against him: I came between him and BP. I think. Or I refused to date him. Or both. I have no idea and I long ago stopped caring.
As BP and I drove back into the city, I remembered that I have the perfect contact for our project. I said, well, she’s not really my friend, but . . .
This woman I have known for more than 10 years is the best in town in her specialty, but long ago she spread absolutely true information about me and I heard about it. I bump into her at functions, but I would never ever consider calling her for anything non-business-related.
I used to believe that working through things with people was the right thing to do. Then, I learned that some people can never understand, acknowledge, or appreciate the importance of not freaking gossiping or speaking behind people’s backs, etc. Some relationships are utterly irredeemable and I am comfortable with that.