My friends are extremely close.  We are all overly involved in each other’s lives, but we all try to keep certain things private.  I am the most private of all, especially regarding relationships.

My friends suspect that I am secretly seeing someone.  They are correct.  They want full disclosure, but I told them that there’s nothing to tell, that I will tell them when things advance.  W demanded disclosure before the second date.  Um, no.

After tonight, I realized they all think my secret boyfriend is my ex A.  He showed up this afternoon to hang out, as he has begun doing 2 or 3 times a week.  I asked him to drive me downtown and there was a relatively convenient parking space, so I invited him to join me for a drink with my friends, who also became his friends over the many years we were together.

W had told our friends all at lunch that I was seeing A.  Then I showed up with A for happy hour.  We are easy together, since we’ve been together forever.  We told stories, and everyone had a grand time.  By the end, they were all convinced that A and I were secretly reconciled.

The whole time, I was thinking of BP.  I missed him.  I wished he had been there, as he has with me and my friends many times on other Friday nights (and other nights, for that matter).  I mean, I enjoyed being there with A and my friends, but I missed BP.

So, yes, I so have a secret boyfriend.  No, it’s not A.  It’s BP and I’ve been dating BP for months.*


Yes, it continues. JF was chatting with me on Sunday morning and said: “as I said a year ago, when you and A end up back together, your situation will be fixed.”  I told him A and I are not back together, we’re done permanently, and he continued to say that my denials just add more fuel to the fire.

I am shocked to have this much coverage and protection from the real situation.  The more I deny I am seeing A, the more they believe we’re secretly back together or moving in that direction.

* I realized today that I’d spoken of it as early as the beginning of May.  At that point, I knew we were going on dates and I sensed that he liked me, but I didn’t realize we were attracted to each other really until about a month later when we were on a trip out of the country.  I didn’t realize until he kissed me for the first time that there was a romance brewing, even though I knew we were dating and we acknowledged to each other we were dating.  We used to joke about it until it all became real.