(BP is not my boyfriend — we’re just dating. But he’s the reason my friends think I have a boyfriend. He’s also the person I am keeping quiet for now for myriad reasons.)
BP called me this afternoon and I told him about the Secret Boyfriend conversations. Then I told him they had deduced it was A. He laughed heartily, impressed with their keen powers of observation.
Obviously, my Secret Boyfriend is not the man I have acknowledged: going to dinner with at least twice a week, traveling with around the world a couple of times a month, and paid for my very expensive hair and brows appointment for my birthday (and stayed with me through the 3 hour appointment).
My friends are amazing.
BP said, so, when did you and A get back together? I told him the day before my birthday (the day BP and I first kissed). He was slightly less amused, though I was obviously joking.
Secretly, I think he, too, believes that A and I will reconcile at some point, if I decide I want him back. Everyone, including BP who should know better, forgets that A broke up with me for very good reasons important to him regarding lifestyle, future, etc. We long-ago reached a financial and property settlement we’re both extremely happy with (though I want to give him more money and he has refused to accept).
BP and I have not yet found a relationship level with which we’re comfortable. Flirting is difficult because we’re so close and because we’re business partners. (He accused me of being very firtatious, which is absolutely not true. I think.) We will be speaking about my fabulousness or how attractive I find him, and he’ll accept the compliment and then say, “oh, I spoke to BigCo and . . . ” Really, BP? Is now the best time to move the conversation back to business? The funny thing is that’s how all day every day is for us — it’s always been a mix of personal, friendship, and business. I suppose that’s why we’re now dating.
Then, at the next moment, he wanted to hear all about what I wore on Friday, how everyone reacted, and he was very proud and pleased when I told him I always dress for him, whether I will be seeing him or not. Absolutely true. He loves that I am becoming a head-turner, especially since my real appeal is to sophisticated successful men, like him. Though I am not broadly appealling, I was turning lots of heads, including my own male friends. One kept obviously checking me out, especially the waist to hip. I was amused.
I mentioned this to my mother who said, “are we sure he is not gay?” Yes, we’re sure. I told her he loves to hear the reactions because he feels the refinement in my look is something we’ve done together. Which it is. Plus, and I did not add this to my mother, he loves to hear that other men find me desireable because, in his mind, I am his.
We also discussed the fact he thinks I need a new perfume. I wear something really fabulous, very French, and relatively unknown. People freak out about how wonderful it is. It’s really amazing and suits me perfectly. He’s tired of it and wants me to wear something new. Ahem, then buy me something.
It’s been 5 days since we’ve seen each other. I’ve dropped 3 pounds since then. It puts me 5 pounds lower than the weight he prefers. I told him that I’ve dropped weight, but that it’s related to all the exercising that I am doing — things are getting tighter and more defined. Honestly, I am not certain why I’ve dropped the 5 pounds over the past two weeks. I am exercising, though not aggressively. I am doing cardio and pilates and lots of ab work. It may be that I am not drinking much wine so it was easier to drop.
I am hoping this is my new set point. This is the best I’ve looked. A thinks it’s the best I’ve looked . . . ever. I am still 5 pounds heavier than I was when I met him. The dress I wore on Friday is the dress I was wearing the night I met him — sheath with spaghetti straps, still beautiful. He recognized it and thinks I look better now than I did then.