With BP out of touch and out of commission, it’s been an emotionally rough week. I’ve been more in my own head than usual (and I am extremely self-involved). I am worried about him, with good reason, but I cannot tell anyone the extent of my fear.
Work was fairly low-key. I met with an old client who needs some new work. I worked some of Friday and all Saturday on a last-minute rush project for a foreign client — they were shocked that I made all the calls to them instead of BP, not realizing that I would be the one doing the work. Dumb.
I had to cancel a weekly conference call since I had a technology failure. BP, Jr. failed once again to call me for his weekly conference call. Colossally dumb.
We advanced a couple of projects, even with him ailing. I may have to go to travel for one of them, but the female client has the biggest crush on him, so I might be left behind. (I think it’s adorable actually. She’s gorgeous, but he’s told her he’s not interested. Instead, he introduced her to another one of our clients. Clever work, BP.)
Bad, bad days. BP has been paying out so much money for me on important things that I have not been telling him about some of the little personal stuff I need. Then, he finds out and is understandably displeased.
I am weeks away from financial independence, but it’s not yet here.
I have picked up a little deal that will giving me some breathing room and some discretionary cash. It will enable me to do some of the little things I need, like buy some new makeup and moisturizers, shoes. Sure, these are things he would take care of, but I’d rather do it myself. After all, I don’t necessarily want him to know what I spend on everything. He knows too much already.
Everything is the same as last week. I haven’t seen BP because of his ailment. I am not actively pursuing anything with anyone else.
I have begun introducing the topic to my friends, acknowledging that we like each other. They knew he liked me already, but I was honest that I like him, too. They’re not as opposed as I would have thought, or as they have been. I think they are just getting ready for the announcement at some point that we’re together.
I bumped into my friend who A used to refer to as “The Alternate Reality” — the life I would have had if I had not been with him. We’re getting together for lunch this week and I let him know that I am looking. He does know every man I would consider eligible in town. so it does not hurt to put the word out.
I am not actively looking, but it would be foolish for me to not have my eyes open . . . at least until we decide to move forward together, if we ever do.
It was a low-key week. I wore my favorite sheath dress out on Wednesday with a scarf my mother brought back from Italy. It was a killer look.
I dipped to 122 this week and it scared me. I am mostly at 123. I have pms, so I am up about half a pound from my low.
I did the trail today for an hour and ten minutes. I am sunburned despite wearing great sunscreen and a hat. I have also been doing pilates and ab and back work on the stability ball.