I have been feeling all awkward and uncomfortable about my relationship with BP. I have been overthinking and overanalyzing everything. Every statement, every gesture, every tone, every glance has been scrutinized and worried over. It’s ridiculous. That’s not who I am.
There are big important things I know about how he feels about me. I know he likes me romantically. I know he is attracted to me. I know he loves me and I know he wants to see me succeed. I know he wants me to be the best me I can be — for my benefit and his.
He is not particularly concerned about time. For him, there is no rush, no urgency. He is not a young man. He has perspective. He has complications. I am not the only woman in his life, I assume.
I am not in love with him, but I love him. I am attracted to him. I love being with him and when we’re not together, I miss kissing him, holding his hand, and sharing that feeling of anticipation.
Rather than worry about it all, I am going to relax and chill out. He has a long-term strategy in play for me and for us. I know that. I just don’t know what it is. I am okay if it’s over now, I am okay if it goes on.