I have been feeling all awkward and uncomfortable about my relationship with BP.  I have been overthinking and overanalyzing everything.  Every statement, every gesture, every tone, every glance has been scrutinized and worried over.  It’s ridiculous.  That’s not who I am.

There are big important things I know about how he feels about me.  I know he likes me romantically.  I know he is attracted to me.  I know he loves me and I know he wants to see me succeed.  I know he wants me to be the best me I can be — for my benefit and his.

He is not particularly concerned about time.  For him, there is no rush, no urgency.  He is not a young man.  He has perspective.  He has complications.  I am not the only woman in his life, I assume.  

I am not in love with him, but I love him.  I am attracted to him.  I love being with him and when we’re not together, I miss kissing him, holding his hand, and sharing that feeling of anticipation.  

Rather than worry about it all, I am going to relax and chill out.  He has a long-term strategy in play for me and for us.  I know that.  I just don’t know what it is.  I am okay if it’s over now, I am okay if it goes on.