Sometimes, I am very, very stupid. I am often clueless and oblivious about things. I tend to discount what the other person feels about me and I ignore the obvious expressions of interest.
(That’s how I could end up dating my business partner and saying incredibly tone-deaf things that he found insulting . . . since I had no idea I was dating him or that he had feelings for me.)
All of this preamble is to say, after nearly canceling my date tonight with BFD (from the best first date ever) because I was still feeling in a bit of a snit that he hadn’t called me on Sunday and feeling lazy with the rainy weather, I had a great date with him.
That I even considered canceling makes me feel like such a total loser dumbass.
The date was extremely short — we went to see a terrible movie with no redeeming value and kissed a few times in his car, lingering as long as we could. What made the date great was that we’re truly comfortable together. We had a long conversation on the phone about philosophy and social justice before he came to pick me up. Then after he got home, we spoke for another half hour about politics.
Being in his presence is very special. I genuinely like him. I am attracted to him. At one point, I leaned over to whisper something about the movie and I had to fight my desire to kiss him. Just being in such close proximity, I was immediately overwhelmed. It was a combination of pheremones and his excellent shampoo and soap. Seriously, the man smelled amazing.
We walked out of the theater with our arms around each other, just delighting in the closeness.
As he drove me home, I said to him that I cannot believe we’ve known each other for such a short time. He corrected me to say that it’s that we’re so comfortable together knowing each other for such a short time. He is right. I honestly had no idea that I could feel so comfortable with someone I barely know, that I could enjoy intense discussions about important things
Earlier on our pre-date call, I asked if he was certain that he wanted to go out though he had limited time since I had already experienced “[BFD] stressed out” on our last date. He was shocked. I said, look, it’s not a big deal, but [and I described what happened]. Shock, turned to horror. He was terribly apologetic. He thought we had a great second date, and we sort of did, except that he was stressed and distracted as it wore on so it became (I thought) increasingly awkward.
None of that existed tonight. Tonight was like spending time with my boyfriend, which honestly has been how every date has been for us. It’s clear that we’re not just “buddies” as W had feared. It’s funny that it took a date that was the tamest of the three to convince me that he really likes me, that this is a real thing.
We hurriedly talked through our respective calendars and it looks like tonight will be it for about 10 days (if not more, depending on my schedule). He’s booked tomorrow night for work, though clearly trying to find a way for us to see each other. I am going to the symphony on Friday, but I told him we could meet up late . . . which he cannot do because of an early morning flight the next day. Then he’s gone for a week.
Despite the badness of the movie, I could not be happier with how the date went. It was nice to have something again low-key where the fun was simply being together. The conversations were great, too. I have been reticent about calling, since I was unclear where things stood. I am over that now.