I finally heard from BFD, after not hearing from him since last Tuesday. He called me at 7:30, while sitting on an airplane, heading back to town. He sounded horrible — depressed, morose.
(I had called him earlier to just say, look, I am actually concerned, so let me know you’re okay.)
We spoke for about 4 minutes as I could hear the announcements on his flight in the background. He asked if he could call me after he landed. He explained that he’s been really down and has a sports-related injury that feels like it is worsening and he’s in terrible pain. He is going to miss his season, and this could honestly be the end of something he has done for a decade.
He sounded so terrible that I really felt for him and immediately called some people to see if I could get him into see someone quickly so he did not feel the need to rush off on another flight to where his doctors are.
We spoke again tonight after he got home for about 40 minutes. It was good, for the most part. He was embarrassed it had been so long since we’d spoken. In fact, he initially disagreed when I said it had been a week. I said, look, I understand you tend to go underground when you’re busy, but he said, it’s not just that. It’s that everything is just terrible — he’s in excruciating pain and he’s incredibly stressed. Business is bad, he’s “hemorrhaging money,” he thinks he made a huge tactical error by coming here and getting involved in this business in the first place because his work-life does not need to be this hard.
Throughout, I kept thinking, wow, he really, really hates it here. I am baffled how anyone could hate it here. It’s not like he moved here immediately from New York. This was an upgrade!
He hates delays and all he is facing are delays. Plus, with the economy and the subject of his new business, he just cannot control everything.
From my work perspective, I actually found his complaints amusing. I hear this crap all the time.
Anyway, he finished his immediate tale of woe and then asked how my week had been. I told him about BP standing me up repeatedly last week and a bit about him — successful business man, inveterate playboy — he said, “inveterate playboy? like how?” so I gave him a famous BP playboy anecdote. I did not mention, of course, that I am and have been dating BP because it’s none of his business.
At this point, I don’t know if I am still dating BFD, so it really does not matter that I am also dating someone else. It does not matter that I am also dating someone else so long as we are just dating. Were I to tell him that I have made out with someone with whom I frequently travel . . . it could be a problem.
He recalled some of the detail from our last extensive conversation almost two weeks ago, and he seemed interested in what I was saying. I told him it was good he was gone last week, since I was whining, he said, look, sometimes whining is exactly what you need to do.
Anyway, we had a nice chat, but he was clearly focused on his pain, his recovery, where he could go for surgery, etc. that I actually heard him typing in the background. I finally said, okay, BFD, take care. I again offered to get some solid referrals for him, so he said he would call me tomorrow morning.
I hope his injury is less serious than he thinks, but he sounds terrible.
He said, so Halloween is on Friday? What happens here in town? I told him and he said, I cannot think of anything less interesting. I told him I agreed completely. I do not know if he intends to ask me out, but it certainly sounded that way. It’s all odd.
BP is gone for a while. He may be back sometime next week or I may join him elsewhere, but it’s all uncertain. Until then, I will see BFD if he asks, but he sounds like a man who is just miserable and hating life here. That’s not the basis for a new positive relationship.
Still, I am happy that he’s alive. I am glad to know I can get him in to see someone who can help him. I could definitely make his life here easier, and I told him I am happy to tap my resources to get him the best care available.