I have been home since Sunday night, back in my surreal hometown.
Nothing here is real. Or, rather, nothing here was ever real, but driving down the main drag, I saw sign after sign for commercial real estate for lease or sale and empty businesses and no construction cranes. The global economic crisis hit here, too.
Being with the family is fascinating. We have been drinking with abandon, eating what we wish, and shopping like we still have money. We have 9 people staying in my mother’s house, along with my brother’s dog.
I bought 4 new pairs of jeans at Steinmart, a store I’ve visited exactly once before. Honestly, I look like a rock star. All I wanted were skinny jeans, and now I have two ridiculous pair that are so fabulous I still cannot believe it and two more slightly less skinny that I could wear anywhere. My brother, the fashionista, said of the 2nd two: “you look like a stylist selected them for you, they’re so perfect.” You have to love that. Four pairs of jeans, normally retailing for over $200 each (and at Steinmart for $130 each), for a total of $100. And the ones he loved are not even the cool ones. Because they have European sizing, they were on super-clearance 60% off plus 20% off and racked in all the wrong spots. It took forever to find them, but daaamn. Seriously, I look like a rock star. I also picked up a new jacket or two for party season. I cannot wait to get back to debut the new looks.
I am up only 2 pounds, with the eating and drinking. It should be easy to knock off once I am back completely on plan.
The balance has shifted between my two guys. Again.
I am irritated with BFD. We have not spoken since our last date last Saturday. No response to my text, no response to my email, no returned phone calls. Nothing. Silence. Again. It’s annoying because it’s so unnecessary. He’s stupid and I have wanted to speak to him for days about last Saturday. Instead, no response to anything. Now, I know we’ve been through this before, but seriously, no calls? No texts? No emails? It’s extremely disappointing. To me, it suggests that he’s back in his little bubble and does not think of me until he is back in town. That’s fine for a guy I am dating . . . rather, that’s tolerable in a man I am dating. It does not work in a man with whom I have a relationship. In under a week, he set our relationship back significantly and he has no idea. Once I tell him, I think he will be apologetic for his cluelessness, as he tends to be, but my feelings are a little hurt.
At the same time, BP is in the mix. I’ve spoken to him two or three times. We im’ed last night. He emailed me this morning to tell me how happy I look being with my family (I sent him a photo of me cooking, which he has never seen.) At his request, I have extended my trip by a couple of days, and I think he is joining me here for some meetings.
Thanks to BFD’s silence, I feel quite confident that I can date BP with impunity. BFD’s silence has hurt my feelings, but I reviewed what I wrote on Sunday and I still feel that way.