How fucked up is this? I am actually giddy, grinning ear to ear, looking like an idiot for absolutely no reason. (Okay, maybe a little reason — I get to see BFD this week! Completely unexpectedly!)
But the real reason I am so beyond happy . . . my pms is over.
It occurred to me when I was just with BP. I looked at him in the car and said, “you look so handsome! It’s amazing that 10 pounds (that he has recently lost on his 6’2″ frame) could make such a difference! You look so much younger!” He looked at me and made a gesture I had never seen before, signaling me to tone it the fuck down.
At that point, I realized my 10 day nightmare is over. It was bad this month since I still have a stress fracture, which is getting better, but it’s still there. I am so nervous reinjuring it that I am sticking to my obviously ineffective low impact cardio.
Now that I actually have my period, I am happy again.
Today was wonderful and busy.
I met Q for coffee. My favorite coffeehouse drink is a double espresso. I am so phobic about carbs that I skip having a latté just to avoid the carbs in the milk. I am not proud. We sat for a few hours to catch up and it was great. We even knocked together a new business concept.
I called BFD as soon as got home and it was great. He’s still ill, but he was normal. He wanted to know why I canceled my trip home and was happy that we will have a chance to see each other. When we discussed our calendars (his just got complicated again), I said to him “you are sure you are not taking away my day, aren’t you?” He assured me that our day was protected, but he did say, I guess I should put it on my calendar. Uh, yeah, sweetheart, you should.
I am thinking about BFD all the time. I can feel his touch on my skin and I can hear his voice clearly in my head. He is so present for me, even when we have not seen each other, even though we’re miles apart.
A came over soon after and it was so excellent to see him. He seems so much happier and more relaxed than he has been in months, if not years. He is finally certified. He will be able to work in his new profession soon. He hung out here for a couple of hours and it was great.
Then tonight, BP came to town to take me to Whole Foods. No, really. He was supposed to come in earlier to get some work done but he was too lazy. So he drove me to WF and wandered around as I shopped. I got some extra stuff but not a lot, plus extra soup fixings since I volunteered to bring soup for family Christmas eve dinner at E and K’s house. I spent double what I spend when I am paying, but only about 20-30 dollars more than a typical trip with BP.
Late tonight, BP called with a new business associate on the line. It was a great conversation, but for the last 20 minutes he kept telling the new business associate about our jeans discussion, and then told him all about me — my intelligence and educational background, my height and weight, ethnicity, how I dress, why he hates my jeans — it was ridiculous and incredibly flattering. He was simultaneously selling me to this guy, especially about how attractive I am, while subtly implying that I am his girl.
I had an incredibly happy day and I feel like myself, all because pms is done.