I had dinner tonight with BP, who I genuinely adore.  He flirted with me outrageously and confessed that he has TWO girlfriends about whom I have never ever heard.  Interestingly, they know about each other, but neither of them know about me and I did not know about either of them.  I am kind of insulted that he never told them about me, which I know is fucked up.

That seemed the perfect opportunity to confess, so I did.

I told him, slightly drunkenly, about BFD.  I said, “hey, remember when you broke up with me in September and we both knew you were just talking shit?  I started dating.  Like I have already mentioned to you.”  I told him about meeting N and then going out with him.  Then I gradually told him about BFD.  It took hours for the full story to unwind as I kept testing his interest in knowing and ensuring I only told him what he wanted to know.

By the end, I showed BP a picture of BFD, described his circumstances, his chief business and his sport, and, as I knew he would be, BP was happy about it for me and was aware of the potential business opportunity for our new venture and the impact of our business on BFD’s venture.  All of this was exactly as I had expected.

He became slightly less excited about it when he realized it was more serious than he originally thought.  He became much less excited when I told him very late in the discussion that we were monogamous.  Since BP is BP (and an inveterate playboy), he had assumed he would be able to sleep with me at will.  In fact, my reminder to him that I had never slept with him and the discussion we had had about it at the time, when we’d been in my hotel room, was met with a completely blank expression.  He had a very different memory of what had happened and believed it had been his decision and not mine.  He is very wrong, but whatever, the result was the same though I understand better that he thought the only hesitation was his.

I am glad I told BP about BFD, but now I am paranoid that I have somehow, after three months, jinxed everything with BFD or somehow affected things with BP.  I do not think I have since BP and I spent a lot of time discussing our next trip, the fact that our connection was always different and deeper than the fact he wanted to sleep with me, and he assumes that he will have an opportunity whenever BFD and I split up.

BP, interestingly, believes that I am, like him, “promiscuous.”  That is wishful thinking.  It’s also not true.

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