Today was my 16th date with BFD. It was very short and a little unexpected.
I did not know he had asked me out until 90 minutes before he arrived. I was having computer problems, and he shot me an email early afternoon asking to come over. He showed up at 7 and I was home by 845.
He called about 5 minutes before he arrived after his fitness class, asking me to unlock the door. When he arrived, he walked in, flipped off the living room light and walked straight back into the bedroom. We started kissing in the hallway and he apologized for coming straight from his workout. (Like I care.)
It was extremely satisfying, despite the fact we were hampered. What I love about being with him is how intimate it is, how present we both are, and how, at the end, he always grasps my hands. It’s also just damn fun. We’re both into the same stuff. We love being being with each other and we have an undeniable attraction to each other. We just need to be with each other. It’s completely overwhelming.
After, he took a quick shower, and apologized again for how he was dressed. He said so where do you want to go for dinner. I told him we could order in, go somewhere casual, or he could go home. He immediately dismissed option three with a “we need to eat.” Okay, dear, but I was giving you an out. Also, I was naked in bed, highly unmotivated.
I quickly threw on something cute, but casual and suggested a fast asian chain in the neighborhood that he\’d never heard of, so off we went. He loved it, but preferred my food to his.
He told me over dinner that he’s been offered a prominent board position here, his first one in town. He asked what I thought, and I asked him if that’s the one he wants to do and ticked off the other options. I asked about the requirements — tickets, annual donation, gala — and it is obviously not a stretch for him.
Amused, I said, they expect you to buy a table for the gala, right? He said, oh, I can’t imagine that since there are people on the board who obvious could not do it. Sweetheart, that is exactly why they expect you to buy a table. He sits on a couple of important boards elsewhere, and has for a while, so the gala question should not have come up. He is rich, he is supposed to shell out ridiculous amounts of money at such things.
There is a good business reason for him to do it, too. I was very encouraging about it, but he was clear that he in not trying to live here long-term, which was his only hesitation.
Still, getting him involved in local philanthropy has been one of my goals. I do wonder if this is something “he” will be doing or something “we” will be doing. He is still so singular in much of his thinking. Asking me if he should do it? Good. Asking if I were interested in him doing it or in us doing it? Would have been better. Still, I wonder if his talking to me about it was his way of asking if I were interested in it, too.
I mean, honestly, I am his girlfriend, no matter how it pains me to acknowledge it . . . even to him. I think I need to remind him I am not interested in being here long-term.
He’s still difficult to read on some of this stuff. I know we’re having a blast together. We really are. We enjoy talking to each other. We enjoy hanging out together. The sex: frequent and excellent. What else we are doing is hard to say. I wonder if he sees me long-term. At some point, I should ask him, but I sort of don’t want to know yet.
Toward the end of the evening, he absolutely shocked me by confessing an aspiration I would have never guessed. I mean it, I was completely shocked. It would be a huge commitment for him — and for his family. Unbeknownst to him, it is my family history and family legacy. It was something I did in college and something I aspired to when I was in law school.
I told him I was approached a few years ago to begin on this path and declined, after thinking about it long and hard. In part, I did not think I could succeed at that point. But, I had great people behind me and it meant a lot to be approached. BFD has not been approached, but it is part of his overall character to have this aspiration. It fits with everything I know about him. I told him, as we drove back to my place very simply: “I’m in.”
He laughed, which was the wrong response.
We kissed and hugged in the car and made plans to spend most of Friday morning together, finalizing the car crap (registration, insurance, new driver’s license for him). We had to confirm in the morning, so I was pretty convinced I could not do it. Plus, I had a meeting scheduled that I really needed to keep.