BFD surprised me by postponing his trip by a day, since he said he had some things to do. He called me around 4 and asked me out to a movie.
I actually wish he had not — tonight was bad.
We saw Watchmen, which was almost 3 hours long. He was physically standoffish all night. He never held my hand, never really touched me, and did not kiss me until he dropped me off, and even then, eh.
I invited him up and he declined. I asked if he were sure, and he was. And he kept the car, my car, that he was driving. He said he would call me in the morning, but whatever.
So now I am trying to figure out what the hell has happened.
Seriously, I thought things were good. He was happy when he showed up about his trip and his training. He actually was on the phone when he knocked on my door, though he hung up before he knocked. He told me all about his plans as walked to the car. He was so excited about his plans and his training schedule that he asked permission to call another friend while we were in the car.
Frankly, it was like he was already gone.
We ate dinner at the food court — no, really. Cutely, he ate off my plate and he always prefers my food to his. We spoke about business (whether I should do this project for him — which he wants me to do because he wants me to make some money) and a tv show we both watch, which made us talk about football, which brought us back around to business. It was okay, but again, it was a little strange.
I do not know that the business project will work because his conditions are uninteresting. He would never do it were he the investor and I would never advise him to do it were I his lawyer. Yet, he wants me to sell this bad deal to people I know or am connected to personally. He wants to keep the offer very quiet and very personal.
Before the movie started, I told him what I had been working on this week. It’s a potentially big deal and he wanted to know how the revenue model works. He always asks unusual questions and his focus is always on understanding the model. I like that he pays attention and he certainly has focused my thinking. He definitely gets it, and I think he likes that I work in a completely different industry than he does.
I wanted to leave the movie within the first 30 minutes. At the hour mark, I apologized to him. After two hours, I just wanted it to be over. Then it went on for almost an hour.
I suspected our evening would end after the movie. I knew he was tired, but I was still surprised that he did not come up or walk me up. He said he will be back on Saturday. He let me know that he would be taking a cab to the airport in the afternoon. And, he kept the damn car.
I was pretty pissed, so I called him about 5 minutes later and he did not answer. I left him a voicemail, very light and cheery, and all about the movie. But I was pissed.
I called BP, who asked me to call him when I got in (as his way of checking up with me). Ten minutes after speaking to BP, I began writing an email to BFD about his project. I thought better of it and called him. Again, no answer, so I sent the email.
Forty-five minutes later, I sent BFD an email expounding upon my original voice mail message about the theme in the movie.
While all of this is going on, I am still furious. I feel completely rejected by him. He mentioned in the car on the way there that he may buy a resort house this summer, elsewhere.
Maybe I am completely wrong that things have been good between us. Maybe they’ve been shitty and I have not noticed.
Maybe this was just a bad night . . . maybe I am misreading things now and he was just excited and distracted. It is a big deal that he delayed his trip and went out with me. He certainly did not need to do that, or to tell me he was still here.
I am still hurt and angry, though I am not quite sure about what. I am angry he did not come up. I am angry he was so distant from me while we were together. I have no idea where things went awry, but I am very curious. In the interim, I think I will begin dating again. Also, I think I am not going to do the car deal. I do not want to be tied to him, I don’t think. Not like this.
I understand I may completely reconsider in the morning, but for now, I am not happy.