The last two days have been horrible, but today is showing improvement.

I have realized some very important things: I will probably reject the PPB project, my friendship with W is in serious jeopardy, BP and I had our most dramatic blow-up ever and he told me he’d never speak to me again — and then he called me 3 times and again early this morning, and I think BFD loves me.

The PPB “Big Comeback” Project

The meeting with BP and PPB was an unmitigated disaster. I knew at the time that it was awkward and the tone was wrong, but I did not know how bad it was until I got a call from W the next day (Friday).

W had gotten a call from PX who had gotten a call from PPB. She was not happy, she did not trust BP, and it made her question my judgment. Yay.

I listened to all of the outrageous things W said, and relayed from PPB. I was infuriated. W added to the problems by undermining BP further, and me by extension. The whole situation was managed poorly and very disrespectful to me.

I spoke with PPB and later with with PX. I am meeting with PPB again on Sunday to discuss all of the issues. There is a structural problem with the project, so I may pass anyway. I am also concerned about the amount of control I would have to manage the project as I would need to, so again, I may pass.

W the Underminer

W is a gigantic fucking underminer. Had I thought about it early on, I would have named him U. For now, he is W the Underminer.

W and I spoke about the PPB project later and more of his issues came to the fore. I realized he is still harboring a grudge from an old project that I passed on, after making a concerted effort, and he eventually did grudgingly, despite my caution to pass. He has now lost a tremendous amount of money for himself and some of our friends, yet he views it as my failure and not his. Interesting.

Then, as he was leaving my car, he threw a nasty line at me. He was praising the beauty of the car and rubbing the leather-clad door panel. I mentioned how much I was enjoying driving the car, since it is a very nice car, and how it made me feel closer to BFD, since it is an obvious sign that he cares for me. W took that as an opportunity to say: yeah, just like he cared for the last woman he let drive it.

It is well-known to my friends that BFD’s ex was on the insurance card I found in the glove box, which covered both of his cars. What I did not realize then was just how long they had been together. So, yeah, W the Underminer, I would certainly want him to care for me the way he cared for her, you gigantic fucking asshole.

BP and the Worst Breakup Yet

BP and I got into a fight to end all fights last night on the phone. I was relaying to him an element of the PPB problem and he accused me of lying to him about it. He became so quickly infuriated that he announced he was never speaking to me again and everything was off. I was shocked. There was no reasoning with him. We disconnected. I waited 10 or 15 minutes and called him to remind him that he had my folder in his briefcase and I needed it back before he left. He said he would drop it off in the morning.

W and I had been on the phone before BP called, so I called him back rather stunned.

We spoke for 30 minutes and BP called again. He told me my folder was outside. I jumped out of bed (it was now after 1 am) and ran outside still on the phone. He looked at me so coldly as he walked down the stairs and said, “what do you want, Planner?” I said, will you please come here so we can talk. It was horrible and awkward and awful. He never crossed the threshold and never got closer than 4 feet from me. Most of the conversation was from my balcony while he was below. (I was wearing the world’s ugliest nightshirt over pajama pants. Not my finest fashion hour.)

He told me he would never speak to me again and that his lawyer B would be in touch with me on Monday to wind up any remaining business. I was just stunned and I started to get a little weepy. He made some throwaway saying maybe he’d check in with me at some point when I asked him if this was really it.

With that, he was gone. He never looked back.

I walked back inside, freezing, and reeling, wondering what in the hell I do now. All of the business deals we had going: gone. Just like that. I had told him I was not lying, but admitted I may have been confused about what I had told him because of the time-gap.

Within 30 minutes, he called me to say “tell me how you think you were confused and not lying.” I walked him through the first conversation which occurred before I had spoken to him and then the second conversation which occurred after I spoke to him. I clarified again that I had told him everything accurately but I might have been referring to the first series of conversation rather than the second series.

We spoke for an hour — about sports, about business, his new ideas of PPB’s project. It was literally insane.

Then he called me early this morning to chat — more about PPB’s business, what the negotiating points should be, etc. Again, insanity. I said nothing about last night’s conversation. We spoke for an hour and then a call from BFD came in, so I put BP on hold. When I wrapped with BFD I called BP back and we spoke for another hour about business stuff like nothing had ever happened.

Hours later, he called me back and said, you know, I find you extremely irritating at times. I said like hay fever? He said, no, because you can take a pill for that shit and there is no cure for your ass. I told him that feeling was mutual and that I really hate him some times, which I do. We spoke again late tonight for a couple of hours about a few business things and some personal things.

I have no idea what the future holds, but I am quite certain that we will go through this from time to time. It’s awful, but I am glad to know that never again does not mean anything.

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