A couple of days ago, BFD asked for JerkFace’s contact info to invite him to do a sports training thing with him gratis for a few weeks. Tonight, I arrived home to the two emails BFD sent to JF making the invitation.

My initial fear was that they would become friends without me. My new fear is that JF will hate BFD. And will torment me mercilessly.

BFD, as I have noted often, is not effortlessly charming. He has tone problems at times and does not necessarily read the room properly. Still, he puts effort in and, according to K, the boys think he’s really cool and want to be friends with him.

His email to JerkFace? A massive fail.

Massive Fucking Fail.

I am tempted to type out his damn name. I am sitting here, wondering what in the hell he was thinking. I know what he was thinking, though. He was thinking that he and JF are friends.

Except they are not. Not yet, anyway. Now, perhaps not ever.

A small piece of background: W, I, and some of our other friends believe that JF could be secretly gay. We really do. We’ve thought this for years, and we are not alone in the assessment. Even BP and my mom think he’s gay. He just reads gay. It’s not overt, but he is sort of my gay best friend, except he’s not gay. I think.

With that as context . . .

BFD, who does not really know JF, but somehow thinks they are friends since they’re both close to me, I guess, kinda sorta called him feminine.

Yeah, so there’s that.

I know what BFD means . . . but I have no idea how JF will take it. I hope he takes it as “wow, BFD and I are cool enough he can tease me as jocks tease each other.” Probability: 20%

It was at the end of a long, detailed email, acknowledging how much this thing has helped BFD and how they are looking to get more aging athletes involved, which both BFD and JF are.

But he kinda sorta called him feminine. Not 100% but that was the gist.

B Fucking D. Seriously, what are you thinking???

Now, I have never shared the whole secretly gay thing with BFD, so that’s not the issue. I know he thinks they’re friends and it’s cool. He did not call him gay, he called him essentially feminine.

Assuming JF gets over it, and he might, I have a second problem. BFD changed my name in his address book to his new, racy nickname for me. Then he cc’d me on the emails to JF.

Now JF will know how BFD refers to me privately. Just awesome. Like you cannot unring a bell or unthink a thought, you cannot unhear this nickname. It’s a perception shifter based on my actual name. Plus, it implies certain things about our relationship and how BFD sees me.

Nice . . .