I am still a bit giddy about last night’s date. I am stopping myself from calling him to be all lovey-dovey, but I cannot stop smiling about it. It was a perfect encapsulation of everything I love about him and our relationship.

In my efforts to diminish my opportunities for heartbreak, I tend to hold BFD a little more at arm’s length, keep my affect very balanced and serious, and ignore the obvious things he does to show me how he feels. He is not a talker about things — he is a shower.

I feel close to him. I am so happy with him. I am beginning to see him so much more clearly.

What is increasingly obvious to me is that BFD is a relationship guy. He’s not happy dating. He does not want his romantic life to be a source of confusion or stress.

He has behaved as my boyfriend since we met. We fight, we get snippy, but we are together. He likes the certainty of our relationship — the sex is great, we share interests in common, we respect the other’s intellect, and we genuinely like each other. More importantly, we trust each other. He likes that we’re so tied together in personal and business things, and now, he is befriending all of the men in my life, too. Smart.

He asks my advice on how to handle interpersonal stuff with other people. He bounces most things off of me. We discuss everything that stresses him out. He shows me all the time how committed he is to me and to us.

We discussed in depth the problems from his trip and ways to resolve them. He keeps showing me what a dear, sensitive man he actually is, how much he genuinely cares for people, and how thoughtful and kind he is. I asked him at what point he lost his temper, and he said, he hadn’t “. . . yelling at someone who is yelling at you solves nothing.”

(Which lets me know a lot about his relationship with his father.)

As we left the restaurant, he mentioned, as he always does, that he is going back on a diet. I mentioned to him, as we walked, that I took our week apart as an excuse to do the same — and lost 2 pounds. He was impressed. I told him that I had been within my weight range, but at 116, so I wanted to drop to 113. The diet thing for us is a somewhat strange conversation because it’s not like I openly tell people I am dieting when I am since I am obviously thin. When he tells people he is dieting, they look at him like he’s insane. But, we both know we’re serious.

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