Today is a low energy day.  PMS is now over, so my back is killing me.

I had a bunch of conference calls that canceled at the last minute, and no responses back to docs I sent out last week and this weekend, so I am in a lull.  I needed a lull.  It’s been stressful and intense and I am a little freaked out about job-related stuff.

I have been working so much, battling my own hormones, and figuring out plans big and small.

I am on day 2 of the diet.  My eating is solid.  I am being aware and careful, but it’s not eating at home that’s the problem.  Frankly, none of it is a problem . . . I am still a slightly smaller than a 4, but I want to drop 4 pounds, so I am working on it. I could swear off booze, pizza, and chinese for two weeks and drop 4 pounds, and that’s basically what I am doing.  I had intentionally gained to 118-122 in June and now I am losing it.  I tried before, but the disordered bit kicked in, so I held off.  Now I feel better and I am back to it.

The second part of my plan is to integrate more regular exercise that will not reinjure my bad foot.  To that end, I am starting a training thing with BFD.  It’s something he’s been doing for months, he has gotten Hot Neighbor into it (well, technically, I did, but BFD is sponsoring him for now), and I am excited to get involved.

I had intended to start my training program this afternoon, but BFD seemed hurt/insulted that I would go without him, so I am delaying until Thursday when we can go together.  I wanted to get over my nerves (I am extremely apprehensive about being terrible), break the ice on my own, and meet people separately from him.  He wants to be with me for whatever reason.  It’s important to him, so I acquiesced.

I submitted all of my paperwork today to the director (TD), never once mentioning BFD’s name in the cover email (only in the application itself, when I listed his full, professional name on the “how did you hear about us” line).  I mentioned the program, my excitement, and asking to know if there was anything else I needed to do before I began.  Surprisingly, I have heard nothing from TD.

The director should have been anticipating my contact, whether TD knew it was me or not, TD knew that BFD’s significant other would be registering for the training.   Were I TD, I would have made sure that I was responsive to anyone contacting me about the training, and especially since my best customer’s girlfriend would be one of them.  And yet, silence.

If I do not hear back by noon tomorrow, I will tell BFD.  Since he pays them thousands of dollars annually (his overall commitment may exceed 20k this year, especially if I am fully involved as well), he will not be happy.  He takes this personally, especially since he invited me and he speaks to TD frequently and no less than weekly.  Besides, I had been working behind the scenes and half of the people who just completed the program told TD that they were recruited by me, not BFD.  It’s the kind of thing to which TD should have paid more attention, especially if they intend to increase BFD’s financial involvement further, which they do.  Again, this will be personal to BFD and it’s as insulting to him as it is to me.

But, I will let it slide for another few hours.  Then, I will tell him if I hear nothing . . . and he will freak the fuck out.  It makes him look bad since he invited me.  I should not have to trade on his name to get a response.  In fact, I refuse to trade on his name to get a response, but I also need a response.  I need to know my registration has been accepted so I can start on Thursday.

I spent a lot of time thinking today.  I am very stressed out about money, as usual, since all of my potential client meetings canceled.  I need to find things to do tomorrow, so I can get everything moving.  But today was a day of low energy, resting, restoring.  I needed it.

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