Tonight, I was hoping to see BFD at our workout.  He had a day-trip and it was uncertain if he’d make it back.

I spent the day on conference calls, working really hard and not accomplishing so much.  I announced toward the end of one, that I was wrapping early because I was heading to our workout.  I took a late shower, just in case I was going to see him, threw on a cute outfit, and headed off.

BFD did not make it.  He was supposed to have bought a pass for me, but I knew he hadn’t thought about it, so I bought it for myself. (I did ask the girl at the desk if one had been called it.  It had not.)

I got in, still a bit early and spoke to a few people.  In life, I am a thin woman.  In training, I am a fat fattie.  It shocks me every time.  (Yes, I have an eating disorder, but seriously, I am thin for this thing.)  One of BFD’s friends asked me if he were back in town yet, which I thought was interesting.  I guess she wanted me to know she knew he was gone, or wanted me to know they were friends, or wanted to bond with me.  It was cute, actually.  She’s older, of course, so I don’t view her as a rival.  Anyway, I said, yes, he’s back, but off again, so it’s unclear if he’d be in class. She said, he travels so much, it’s a good thing he handles it so well.  I looked at her, and started to agree, and then said, um, in real life, he doesn’t.  We laughed.

Class time came and no BFD.  Class was rough.  It kicked my ass and I performed the worst that I’ve ever done.  BFD got a shout-out from the instructor — when he told us not to cheat, he cited BFD.  Adorable. I got confused at one point and fucked up not just myself but other people.  Grrr.  And at the end, I thought he was trying to kill me.  In fact, my foot hurts, that ache in the bone.  It’s not good.

I picked up my stuff and realized, BFD had called 10 minutes before class.  I did not get a voicemail, so I assume he was calling to say he wasn’t coming.  HN was there, but heading off to do something else, so I realized I’d have to grab a cab.  Better, though, I called W, who just then happened to be leaving his office about 5 blocks away.

While I was waiting, I called BFD but no answer.  Instead, BFD and I exchanged text messages.  He was working and he asked a couple of work things in follow-up.

When I got home, he texted to ask how I was getting home. Which, cute.

I called and we spoke at length.  He was so adorable.  Stressed and working and missing me.  I asked him if he wanted me to cab down.  Neither of us had eaten and he had nothing in his house.  Then I heard him start eating, so I asked what it was.  He said, do you really want to know, because it’s embarassing.  I just found a ziploc with a poptart.  I laughed and said I loved that about him

We agreed to bump tonight and have a real date on Friday.  I miss him so much, and he misses me, too.

I realized much later that he’d called me mid-afternoon too, as soon as he’d gotten back from his trip, too.

That he’d tried and failed to reach me twice . . .it’s those times when he really starts to miss me.  He is so used to my availability that my absence draws us closer.  I love that he called to let me know he was back, then called to get me before class.  I also love that he didn’t get me.  He was anxious all afternoon.

Things feel so good between us right now.  It feels solid.  He sounds better.  We’re reconnected and, tomorrow, we have a real date scheduled.  I cannot wait!

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