One of the hallmarks of my relationship with BFD has been the knowledge that no matter our problems and complications and issues, we are and have been sexually monogamous. Friends ask me how do I know, how can I trust him — he travels all the time, he is a narcissist, he is very attractive, he is rich and carefree — so, really how do I know?
How I know is that I know him, and, after a night like tonight, I know he’s spent the last 11 days thinking about having sex with me. The sex was need-driven, for both of us. We needed to connect, we needed to be together, and nothing else really mattered.
After 11 days apart, BFD emailed me at 3 asking if I was going to our workout tonight and telling me he’d gotten in after midnight early this morning.
I responded and then he called me twenty minutes later to catch up. We had a nice chat and he told me that he had virtually no cell coverage since he’d been gone. What. Ever. Where he was is very isolated, which is the whole freaking point, but what ever, dude.
I started to apologize to him for something, and he interrupted me, forcefully, to say, [Plan], stop with the apologies, you don’t have to apologize for anything, so I told him to shut the fuck up, since this was cute, and then gave him a grand apology about teasing him mercilessly about the workout. I told him, now that I’ve completed nine sessions, which impressed him, I totally get it and I am equally addicted to it. This, of course, made him very happy.
We agreed to talk again about the training, but to make no decision. The only decision we made is that we’d have dinner.
While we were speaking, BP called me twice, so I cleared the line to speak to BP. Once we wrapped, I called BFD back and we confirmed we’d talk later. Then I called BP back, and jumped in the shower, figuring I’d see BFD at training or for dinner or both.
When I didn’t hear from him, I called and then texted about 40 minutes before class started, knowing I would not be able to make it there in time sans car, and he got back to me via text 10 minutes later to say he was going to run and then hit the gym (skipping our training), and asked if we could do dinner in (at my place), then 30 minutes later he asked if we could skip dinner, and after i said yes, he decided to skip the gym. He showed up within 10 minutes and we immediately had sex.
There were no intermediate steps: I opened the door, he walked in and we kissed, he grabbed my ass and put his keys down, and we were naked and in bed as soon as we could get into the bedroom.
It was okay, but not transcendent. It had been 2.5 weeks since we’d had sex and we needed to do it. It was more about the need, that need to connect and please each other. We were sort of jockeying for dominance and control, which was unusual. We each brought a couple of new things to the sex, and he seemed to love a couple of moves I used for the first time. I have a secret fantasy thing I want to explore with him, and i am beginning to think he might be open to it. Really, we just wanted to have sex.
A note about BFD’s body. He just got back from training camp and oh my god. He has never looked as hot. I glanced into the full length mirror when we were standing at one point, his body completely blocking mine, and wow, every muscle was defined — his back, his thighs, his calves. Wow. I blurted out — you’re SO hot. Because, seriously, wow.
The sex here is almost always faster because of his allergy issues.
After, he jumped up to shower — since he’s allergic to the cat, and I accidentally gave him a cat hair covered towel. I always preserve one, but I forgot it had been out and he broke out in hives. We talked a little while he was in the shower. Mostly he waited for me to get in with him, which I didn’t for a while. We just talked about nothing and I assured and reassured him about one of his insecurities.
BFD is a narcissist, among other things, but he is also so sensitive and vulnerable.
Once out of the shower, we dressed quickly, he harassed me about how messy my place was and teased me a little about my business. I walked him out, kissed him again, and he left with a spring in his step, saying we would talk later tonight and that he’d been in town all week.
This sex was all about need. It was inventive in parts, but we just needed to be together. He often comes back and immediately has to have sex with me. The longer we’re apart, the more we need sex.
We have plans throughout the week. We spoke again late last night, and he called me a new affectionate pet name. We’re never getting our balance of personal, personal business, and business right, but we try to signal the other with forms of address so we let the other know where we are as we start or stop speaking. It’s adorable and it feels good to be back together again.
This is going to be the last month of uncertainty. We’re both facing some important choices in our professional lives that will greatly impact our relationship. For now, I am happy to be with him, to kiss him, etc. I am happy he’s back and I cannot wait to see him again on Thursday.