It’s getting hard to write lately because I am incredibly busy and when I am not incredibly busy, I am spending slightly less time staring at my navel.
I am just as ego-centric, I am becoming less reflective. This is not a positive development.
I am still sorta dating BFD, but I was traveling and then he had house guests and now he is traveling, and we don’t have much time for each other. I have stopped missing him when we’re apart. That’s not a good sign for our future relationship. We’re still on hold for another couple of weeks, but I am on the cusp of closing my business deal with him, so things are about to shift again.
We were on tv, together, for a philanthropy thing. He was speaking, I was in the background in other shots. He looked and sounded great. I looked great, too. (No ed triggers being on television, which shocked me.) Since it went live and the inevitable clips hit facebook, I have been fielding the “is that your [BFD]?” I overcame my initial hesitation and said yes, though I felt weird at first claiming him. Then I remembered, fuck him, in my world, he is my boyfriend — though we’re on a break — and my lover — though I hate that word, and yeah, that is my BFD.
Part of my problem with BFD currently is that his bullshit is his bullshit and I am tolerating less and less of it. I saw him twice last week — once for our workout and then a group dinner with friends and JF’s girlfriend — and for our workout on Saturday. I spoke with him every day, including yesterday as he was leaving for a trip. Saturday, he drove me back, kissed me, and called me a cute pet name. Still, he regularly pisses me off and my tolerance is low.
We have another couple of weeks before he is back settled in town. I have no idea how I will feel or where I will be when that happens.