Here is my first date with LP. Oh, you are all going to HATE this. Whee!!!!!

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LP and I exchanged texts all day. I have been teasing him about using the conditional mood rather than the future tense, so he decided to be incredibly provocative. The end result: I drew a very firm line. One which I would later regret, but I am again jumping ahead.

He wrote that “Tonite you will then. I will pick you up, i will take you to a lovely dinner, then i will kiss you, will undress you, and will […]”

I told him not tonight and remained firm on that point.

He was working all day on Saturday. We were going to a restaurant that essentially does not take reservations. It’s the best in town and it’s what we both eat, so we were happy to go a little early and sit on the patio and enjoy ourselves.

He arrived a little late, with notice, and I told him I would meet him downstairs. He was across the street from my building, so he got out of the car as I walked across and I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him fully on the mouth, which took him a bit by surprise, but as I had told him last night, I felt our first kiss was “not my best work.” Something he thought was absolutely not true — he loved our first kiss — and loved that I felt the need to tell him it was not my best work.

I slid into his car and he put on a cd of his music, which is a player move, but still adorable, and we drove the short distance to the restaurant. He drove a little further so I could hear a specific song. We pulled up to valet and found a spot on the patio. We really do look good together. We share an ethnicity, although I do not look like it. We are the right size together and quite adorable. He looks successful and I am socially thin and pretty. In short, we fit in a way I am not sure I have with anyone for a while.

As we walked up, I saw a friend standing with a group. We slid into a table and then I introduced them.

When we were back on our own, LP told me that there were some things about himself he thought I should know. He then proceeded to tell me some truly horrific things about his childhood and anguish and it was a little overwhelming. It was not dissimilar to some experiences I had and the feeling of a lack of protection from one or both parents. Safety is a theme in our lives. More on this later, I am sure.

He explained how all of that impacted his life and his work and his ambition and drive. It was a remarkable tale. As he spoke, I leaned forward and caressed his hands or his legs and comforted him as I could. It was an amazing feeling to touch him and he was very receptive. The angles of my body were always towards him and we were very connected as we sat. I jumped around as I spoke, hitting lots of topics.

I checked on the table and we were finally seated at the bar. It was communal and public, but it was still nice. The service was impeccable, the food was exquisite. I allowed him to order, which he did not really like but I am not that in to food. We ordered small plate after small plate and had a lovely time.

Until we didn’t.

It happened abruptly. His mood darkened and he was withdrawn into himself. I kept reaching for him and he was withdrawn. Which meant I withdrew from him, which meant he withdrew from me, which meant I withdrew from him. I excused myself for the ladies room. When I came back, he confronted me, we unwound what happened and it was something external to us — someone in his eye view had betrayed him on a friend level and he was still hurt and angry. He withdrew from me, etc., but we walked it back (“no, I like that you touch me, and I know I withdrew, bt it’s okay,”) and recovered mostly, but it was still a little tense. He told me, of course, that I am beautiful, but I have no poker face. He liked that

I was in another mini-snit as we left our very expensive tiny meal, and he asked how I was and I responded, with a rather clipped “fine.” We literally left the restaurant fighting. Rather than allow me to withdraw, nurse my hurt feelings, ang get over it, he confronted me. We were fighting at the valet stand, which is actually hilarious in retrospect. I used the 20 steps from restaurant to valet to get over it, but he wanted to discuss it. I stopped and tried to wrap my arms around him and he rejected me until we talked. I stood next to the car after he slid in, after tipping the valet. He said, after I opened my own door, that it would have been difficult for him to have opened it for me while paying the guy. I said, LP, I was waiting for the valet to open it, not you . . . there should have been two valets. (It occurred to me that I spend way too much time at our local 5 star hotel, but whatever.)

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