I just had a very short, very wonderful date with LP. He’s lovely and amazing. I am trying not to be giddy, and I am failing miserably.
I had not seen him since Sunday night, when I laid next to him in bed for over an hour while he was nauseated and miserable. Since then, we’d spoken once very briefly and texted briefly, compared to the week before. I missed him so much, which made me want desperately to see him, and to think I never wanted to see him again.
Today, I reached out around 1230 to confirm when this weekend we’d see each other, knowing he had to work and that his kid would be with him for part of the time. I heard nothing back.
I called him four hours later. No answer. Finally a text seven minutes later, apologizing and asking how I was. We exchanged a couple of texts and I asked if he were tied up for the weekend, so he responded by asking me to dinner tonight.
I thought about it, and of course I accepted. We agreed on 730 and I told him I would meet him at the restaurant he selected. My place is a hovel compared to his, so I figured I was better off meeting him two blocks from his building than having him come here for (what I hoped would be) the making out portion of the evening.
I was a little late because of traffic and he was already seated in the empty restaurant when I arrived. We were so thrilled to see each other. He stood as I entered and hugged and kissed me. It’s hard for us to not beam at each other.
He told me that I was beautiful and how much he had missed me. He said I looked great — and I did
— in an interesting black pencil skirt, a low cut black t-shirt, stilettos. He also noted that I was wearing the same signature jacket I’d worn before with him. (It’s a really fabulous trench that I can only wear in early fall and early spring.) I will have to integrate some others in, now that I know he is actually paying attention.
We caught up on his horrible week, held hands as we flipped through the menu, and he asked what I ate. I told him, I don’t really do carbs, of course, and there is a protein I don’t eat. I glanced at the menu and saw a perfect thing, which sounded great to him, we ordered another thing recommended by the waiter, and then we ordered a third dish, entirely composed of things I don’t eat, which was perfect for him.
He walked me through his house negotiation, and he said, I don’t know if you will like me less . . . or like me more. He described how he had charmed them and flirted with them to get his deal done. I told him, I would have expected nothing less and I thought it was great.
After our appetizer, I excused myself for the ladies room and he made me kiss him before I left, which is a tradition we shall keep.
I love kissing him, way more than I thought I would. I love touching him, way more than I thought I would.
When I came back, he was outside, on the phone, which is interesting since we were literally the only people in the restaurant. The host quickly told me “he’s outside,” and I glanced out and then smiled at the staff and waited, including after they delivered the food.
It was about the house, I think, and he apologized, of course. There are complications and stresses about which he has gone into great detail, but it’s all important and indicates how he thinks through issues.
I spoke a lot while we ate and explained my business to him. The potential success, the terrible failure, why I have structured my life the way I have. He understood and was supportive. He also could not believe the amount of money I would have made and told me he would have never made that. Well, frankly, no one would. It was absurd, but that was why I worked and suffered so long. He was impressed and said, you know, you should have called me during [the event held the week before I did call]. He told me about a dinner he went to, that would have been so perfect. [I touched his hand and interrupted as he told me the people who were there and said, OMG, that’s SO cool! He said, enthusiastically, I know!] He said, Plan, you are exactly what they were looking for. I would have brought you to the dinner, and you would have been perfect.
He was right, I would have been perfect. LP’s first reaction to hearing me speak about what I do was essentially: they wanted to hire me, but you would have been perfect for them and I wish you’d been with me for this incredibly cool experience.
Yes, compare and contrast to BFD who did not bring me to things in which I was actually involved. I know.
I gave him a lot of background on what had/was happening (X, BP, BFD, etc.) and why I am so broke now. Since he is a lawyer, he completely understood. Their lawyers in my area of practice have been more than decimated by the economy.
I told LP about BFD’s project that I am working on, referring to him as “my ex.” LP wanted to know specifically which ex. He wants to know everything.
Like BFD, he wants me to know everything about his stuff, especially big financial decisions. He did end up buying the house. He loves the house, the kid loves the house, and they worked out the issue with the house. He said it was more than he wanted to pay, but he’s happy and excited. I still think he overpaid and it’s not what I would have gotten, but he loves it and that is all that matters.
He mentioned that there are some difficult issues upcoming since he needs to get some of his favorite possessions from his ex’s “mansion,” which is a strange thing to say, except it is. He said that he has excellent taste and he saved his money as a young lawyer and bought one very special piece each year (before they were married), so he wants those things back and assumes it will be a fight. He seems to really despise her — she’s controlling, she’s a narcissist (no, like a real one), and she gives him a hard time about everything. They are maintaining a cordial friendship for the sake of the kid, but it’s difficult and painful for him. They married quickly because of her pregnancy, and his therapist has often told LP he could have found no one less suited for him than she. (She was very successful in her field when she was young and has coasted for the last 15-20 from that early success while pretending for the last few years that she was not completely financially dependent upon him. Her “mansion” he is paying for, and all of the best pieces in her house belong to him. I can see why he’s a little bitter.)
Anyway . . .
He “knows” that I have great taste, and he cannot wait to see my place. I can definitely wait. I was going to redecorate last year and put all those plans on hold, so I can show him space plans and swatches, but the place now is very plain. Eh.
He showed me the stack of stapled pages that had been next to him, flipped through it and showed me his notes and said he had 8-9 hours of work ahead tonight (it was now 830) before the document could be sent out Saturday morning. Yes, it was clear to me that I would not be spending the next hour kissing him, which saddened me.
I excused myself after we finished eating. When I returned to the table, I told him that I had two things to tell him: “first, I am not bulimic.” He nodded and laughed, but I think he appreciated me telling him that. At this point, I am very thin and I had excused myself after each course, at each meal we’ve had together. I have learned that people close to me sometimes wonder and I did not want my teensy bladder and constant tea consumption to become a concern. “Second, you’re driving me home.” He said, of course, but wait, how did you get here. When I told him, he was incredibly charmed and impressed, which was very sweet [That’s amazing! i am so impressed you did that, it’s just so cool.”] I explained that I did not have a car, and he thought that was very cool, too.
He is a truly good sport about everything. I told him — I am extremely poor and I have no car and he was supportive and charming. Very impressive, sweetheart.
As we left the restaurant, I turned to walk towards his condo and he turned to walk towards his office. It was in the 60s and I was wearing a jacket, but my teeth were chattering. We held hands, but he was already transitioning back into work mode. I asked him whether I calibrated my reaching out appropriately while he was so stressed and slammed. He thought it was perfect. I said, “look i wanted to be there for you, but I respect what you were doing.” He said, “the next relationship I am in needs to be that . . . whether you’ll be my best friend . . . or something more . . .” And he smiled.
When we got to his building, we walked through the secured lobby and straight to the parking garage elevator. I stepped in and he turned around and said, I’ve never kissed anyone in this elevator, so we kissed passionately as we went up to his floor, knowing the security guards were watching. As we walked off into the elevator lobby, I teased him, saying, I cannot believe you did not take me upstairs to kiss in your office. He said, “well, we’re fully staffed up there right now with [extremely impressive assortment of professionals]” all of whom had been waiting on him to return from dinner. He was supposed to have been back at 830 and it was now 845 and he still had to drive me home. He said “they’ve been calling me every 15 minutes and I finally turned my phone off, so now I am certain they’re freaking out.”
Frankly, I was shocked that he’d taken off to take me to dinner when he had 8 more hours of work to do and an entire staff working all night on a Friday night. He said, “well, I had to eat and I missed you.”
We kissed in the car, of course, since we can’t stop kissing, and he slipped his hand up my pencil skirt, as we drove, which is no easy feat, in order to rest it on my upper thigh. He told me that the drive we went on during our first date was incredibly erotic — it really was — though nothing really happened, we could not stop kissing each other. When we arrived back at my building, only 8 minutes away, we kissed for a few minutes before I sent him off. He kept telling me how beautiful I am. I asked whether he preferred my hair up or down, since I’ve worn it both ways with him and he said, your face is so beautiful I just don’t have a preference . . . and I would tell you if I did!
How completely adorable.
As he has his kid on Saturday, we made definite plans for late Sunday brunch — which I told him would end with some (probably naked) cuddling. We are still not planning to have sex-sex, though we had the std talk, but I suspect we will get a little frisky.
We talked about the new house again and how he looks forward to our christening it. He did tell me I would not be the first girl he kissed there. That honor, of course, goes to the kid.
It amazes me how easily we’ve slipped into a solid relationship. It is solid. There are storms on the horizon — we’re both interacting regularly with our exes, so there are certain things we’re going to want to keep low about how we feel to the exes, but it feels amazing. We’re both temperamental and narcissistic, and used to dating people who are that to the nth degree.