None of this may make sense since there is no context as I have not posted the interim stuff, but for the past couple of days I have been freaking out because LP, the new guy, has gone completely silent.
After one week of constant interaction (and three dates) and a second week of tempered interaction because of his insane schedule (and an adorable date, during which he clearly demonstrated that he is crazy about me, and a last minute cancellation on a second date because of work — he even brought his kid to office on Sunday as he worked), he has gone silent.
After he canceled, and while he was working, I sent a message that could have sounded bitchy to him — I used “if” instead of “when” telling him to call when he was free to reschedule — something he would have noticed and over which I obsessed for three hours after I sent it — and then a message hours later awkwardly clarifying and apologizing. No response to those messages, no response to the brief, thinking of you, hope all you survived all the chaos, I sent today, two days later.
Needless to say, I have been dying inside. It was amazing and then it was gone. When I say amazing, here are two moments from Friday.
First, he took me to a late dinner though he had, unbeknownst to me, 8 more hours of work to do and a full complement of attorneys and staff awaiting him at his office. I teased him, after he kissed me passionately as we rode the elevator in his office’s parking garage that he did not kiss me in his office, which is when he told me they were all upstairs waiting on him and that they’d been calling every 15 minutes until he finally turned off his phone. When I asked him why, he said, well, I needed to eat and I missed you.
Second, we had a wonderful talk that night about me, my business, and he was excited and proud of who I am and what I do, and the sacrifices I have made. He was talking about how he would be integrating me into his life and an opportunity that had arisen the week before I called him — a dinner he would have loved to have taken me to and a business opportunity presented there for which he thought I’d be perfect. He kept saying, you should have called me the week before!
We also kissed in the restaurant, the elevator, his car . . . he was passionate, and affectionate, and warm, and loving (to use his term). We made plans for a late brunch on Sunday, which he canceled on Sunday.
And then he disappeared.
He is working like crazy — you know, like making staff work with him until 4 am on a Friday night crazy and continuing to work all weekend, etc. But still, he disappeared.
How hard is it to shoot a text? Seriously.
He knows I get skittish. He knows when I sense he’s withdrawing, that I withdraw. So, he withdrew, so I obsessed and fretted and freaked out and started to withdraw.
I maintained silence for like 48 hours until I shot him a thinking of you text. Still no response.
Yesterday, 24 hours into his silence, I received a cute email from BFD, with whom I’d had a good conference call last week and from whom I’d received deal revisions at 1145 on Friday night — an email to which I responded promptly, showing him I was home, too. So Monday morning, I got a cute forward of a video, then he called me to talk an hour later, a little business, but mostly checking in since I have absolutely stopped calling him ever, and then four hours later, I got the email.
The email was short and to the point, and said essentially, we need to have sex, how’s tomorrow night? It was actually sexier than that (to me) — and demanding, which I find a turn on. I responded back, and then we just exchanged email for an hour. I had agreed, of course. It has been a month since we have had sex, he is just coming off our scheduled break, and I am not sleeping with anyone else (I have not even seen LP with his shirt unbuttoned, no less naked). Also, he’s good in bed and no amount of pet names will backslide me into a relationship-relationship, but we’re friends and the sex is great — and safe.
So I am at a crossroads . . . and I am dangerously bored.