LP is gone, I guess. It’s been since Sunday since we’ve spoken and we have no plans for the weekend.

Over five days, I texted him twice and called him once and left a voice mail.

I am somewhat devastated that he went from hot to cold, even though he’d warned me this would happen with his schedule. Even though I know how hard his work is right now. I have less sympathy for him, even though he “has” to work (unlike BFD or BP or N). I don’t know why I feel that way since they all work like crazy all the time and he actually has to work to maintain his lifestyle. I think I am just hurt because it was so fucking abrupt to go from 75 texts a day to no response.



In contrast, BFD, who is a terrible boyfriend even under the best circumstances, never called much, so when he didn’t call, I did not feel his absence so acutely.

Last Friday, I was kissing him openly in an empty downtown restaurant, holding his hand as we walked down the street, and making out with him in his parking garage elevator, garage, car, and in front of my building.

I know he’s not really gone. Even if he were to disappear, there is no way that a man who has thought about me for months, who loves kissing me and wants to have sex with me very badly, would just abandon me so quickly before we’ve slept together . . . which we’re waiting on, for a while, if he reappears. Seriously, he wants to sleep with me, so I know he’s not gone-gone.

He mentioned this on our last date that his next relationship needs to respect his crazy work schedule and that he appreciated that I reached out, knowing he would not respond back. I am not certain I can do this again, though I am particularly well-suited for such a relationship.