I am only attracted to a very specific kind of man.

Other men bore me.

I wish it were not the case, but it is.

EH, on which I met BFD, is having a “free communication weekend,” so I turned matching back on for first time since . . . November 8, 2008(!), within 5 weeks of our first date.  (Hey, it was a great relationship at times . . .)  I switched out my photos because I am 8-10 pounds less than when I posted them originally, so I actually look like myself.  I have 11 new matches, all professional men.

The amusing part of the “free communication weekend” is that you can communicate, but unless you subscribe, you cannot see photos, so I am literally doing this sight unseen.  But, among the 11, I found two people interesting.  One of them purports to do what BFD does, the other is an entrepreneur in the same field as the alternate reality.  The entrepreneur is extremely appealing in myriad ways — culturally, intellectually, etc.  A couple of people have reached out to me — sadly, not those two so far — and I have gone through the process.

I am not really single right now — I am dating BFD, tormenting LP, and keeping N around.  I have men on deck and men my friends would introduce me to if I showed interest and a willingness to date “normal.”

But, I can’t.  That’s really the problem.  I checked out all the people on EH with whom I was matched and the ones I like are the successful, driven ones.  I can’t help it.  Dating a middle manager would just never work for me.  It just wouldn’t.  I know it and they would know it.  If LP, who is wildly successful, could be intimidated by the other men I have dated, how would a mere mortal feel?  I played that game with my ex A, and it caused problems for him for a long time, with him always feeling I would leave him for “a bigger, better deal,” no matter how often I told him I was my own bbd.

So, these guys?  Probably not.  It is not just what they do, it’s their impression of what I do and what my clients and business partners do.  It takes an incredibly strong man to be “normal” and cope with the life I lead.

I get absurd offers from wealthy men as a matter of course.  One of our favorites is an anecdote BP tells people all the time: a much older, married business partner of BP offered (secretly) to take me to “one of the finest resorts in the world for a week.”  When I laughed, he said, “fine, make it two weeks.”   So adorable.  BP has punished me for over a year since I confessed that I was dating BFD.  He cut me off financially, continually offered me house, car, staff, etc. to return, and delighted in my suffering and poverty, saying, “that’s something your boyfriend should take care of.”  I made my choice and I had to live with it.  BP also tells people this all the time, denigrating BFD in the retelling.

(BFD just called me to check in, check on the status of our Wednesday meeting with BP, and talk through personal schedule stuff.  He wants me to monitor his drinking, as he never drinks, to make sure he does not have more than one.  I am glad to see he is taking it seriously and is still freaked out.  Which he should be.  He also called me “honey bun” in closing.  He is insane.  And yet, I am well aware that if Wednesday goes really well, we’re probably reconciling permanently and jumping back on track, which is frankly what we both want, sort of.)

So, I am open to meeting new people and expanding my dating horizons.  I know that the quality of men seems higher on EH than on other dating sites, which I have perused casually.

Who knows if I will meet any of them, but for now, I am intrigued with a couple of possibilities and we’ll see what happens.