I got 3 hours of sleep last night because I was tossing and turning for hours envisioning my life under the decision I feel I must make: I am ending my romantic relationship with LP.

When I thought about it, I realized that the best thing I can do for him is be his friend. So, despite how it pains me, that’s the path I am choosing.

I don’t know that we can just be friends.  I envisioned myriad scenarios and conversations and circumstances and it never worked, and I never slept.  But it’s the right decision for me and the right decision for him.

It’s just a very sad decision to have to make.

No matter what, I am grateful for our short affaire du coeur because it did change what I thought was possible to find in a partner and how little for which I am willing to settle.