BFD called while he was driving a couple of hours out of town to visit with some employees to check in regarding tomorrow’s meeting with BP.

He sketched his post meeting agenda: dinner, sex, and then he would hit the gym.

There is a charm to knowing someone so utterly predictable who just lives on his own terms.  Like, of course, that’s what will happen.  We’ll have the meeting, we’ll go home and fuck, we’ll grab dinner, and I can still hit the gym and pack for my trip the next morning.

Ah, BFD, you’re adorable.

I am concerned tomorrow will be a complete and utter disaster, so I am rather convinced he’ll spend the post meeting yelling at me rather than fucking me, but who knows.  It is certainly possible that both of them will rise to the occasion and decide to move forward.

If they do move forward, if it goes really well, I will become financially independent, a millionaire in my own right, and a minority equity holder in BFD’s business.  It’s the biggest gift he could give me, the most important thing to him, and a way of keeping me in his life for the next 5-8 years, no matter what.

We’ve been talking around it for 8 months and he want so desperately for me to deliver.  He does not need me.  He does not need BP to be involved; he has other people who want in.  But having me do this means that I am his partner, too.  That he will pay me an absurd amount of money — higher than market by more than 3x — that I will have earned my seat at the table in business and that we will be together for years if not forever.  It’s what he’s always wanted.  It’s what he’s pushed me to do.

So, tomorrow is really fucking important and I am very scared. There is a lot that can go wrong — there is a lot of ego, a lot of competition, and a lot of jealousy between them.

In BFD’s mind, it is a foregone conclusion.  It’s a great deal.  They’ll talk for a couple of hours over drinks, we’ll go out to dinner together, then go home and fuck.  Easy.

I know it’s not that easy.  I know it’s not that certain.  I love that he’s so utterly predictable, because he is the only element tomorrow that is.