Today was a day of highs and lows.  I also realized that, though I technically live in a big city, it’s really a small town.  Everywhere I went, I saw people I know — people I wanted to see and people I could have gone my whole life without seeing.


I essentially told a very powerful, connected potential partner to go fuck himself on a conference call.  It felt awesome.  The retelling, which happened on a street corner in the middle of downtown, was not my finest moment as I looked to the untrained eye like all the other hipster dbs wandering the streets.  Sorry.  But to you, asshole, good riddance and “best wishes for your project.”


LP’s project concluded successfully.  I am surprised they did as well as they did.  I did not see the news until late tonight, as I was out of pocket all day.  I texted him late to say congratulations, but it was already midnight there.


I realized that HN (my hot neighbor) is a super-cool guy with whom I wish I were better friends.  I had more fun hanging with him, and I think he did, too.  For the past two days, I have bumped into him randomly.  Today, I saw him twice — the second time, we hung out together for about half an hour and caught up on the news and gave each other great advice on things to check out.  I had more fun hanging out with him than with my friends.

My friends kind of suck.  They either fail to appreciate what I love or to understand what I do for a job.  If I am enjoying something related to what I do, leave me alone, suck it up, and pretend you’re having a good time . . . or don’t come with me.  It’s easy, really.  Rather than paying attention, two of them whined and then left early.  Which made me have to leave early.  Had I known how they would have behaved I would have made other plans to be with other people.  So irritating.

I had a better time by myself than with my friends, and a much better time with HN.  Lesson learned.

Saw the Wife

Interestingly, I saw LP’s wife today.  She was standing next to me at an intersection.  I recognized her, and her friends.  She looked at me with recognition.  I do hate to be ugly about this but, this is my diary . . .  the years have not been kind.  She’s more than a decade older than me, and she looks it, if not older.  She also looked a little dumpy.  The last photos I’d seen of her had been publicity photos that were a couple of years old, and she must have been airbrushed within an inch of her life.  Upclose? Yeesh.

Yes, that’s ugly, but . . . she should embrace who she has become, not who she used to be.  Much of her life is clinging to the success of her past — from her successful career 25+ years ago to her perpetuation of the sham that she is still happily married to LP — and it comes across in everything about her.  Again, ugly, but JFC lady, grow the fuck up and stop trying to act/dress like you’re 25 years old when you are twice that.

So, I saw her, and kinda silently freaked.  Really.  I glanced and there she was and I recognized her immediately, though I’ve never met her.  I’ve mentioned she’s sort of famous here, but it was the presence of her friends who confirmed it for me.  She was obviously the queen bee, though they were both younger and hot and more hip.  Also, I sort of recognized them, too.

She was about 3 feet from me.  I glanced, while wearing sunglasses, realized it was her, and froze in place for a nanosecond that felt like forever.  She looked at me as though she sort of recognized me.   We have friends in common in real life and on twitter — so she very well may have seen my photo before.  I cannot imagine that she knows me connected to LP.  He’s not on fb or li or the normal social networking stuff. He has one public profile that he checks, but we’re not connected there, or anywhere else.  She cannot see that we’re connected on buzz as we each have private google profiles.  In fact, she may not even be aware of his private gmail address.

Short version: if she recognized me, it’s from our mutual friends and not the fact that I have dated/am dating her ex.  (Most likely.)

I crossed the street. because I could not imagine how hard it would be to stand there next to her.  They crossed as I did a few seconds later, so where still behind me through the intersection.  I went in a bit of a circuitous route and ended up lostish.  But I did lose them, just in case.

There are plenty of opportunities for me to run into her.  We are connected through a few people and there are plenty of events to which we’re both invited.  I mentioned to girl doctor that I specifically avoid such events, which GD found impossible to understand.  But, while I don’t think that she knows who I am right now in connection to her, she may at some point, and I would prefer that she not meet me over and over again under other circumstances while I am/or was/or whatever dating her ex.  Because she’d know I know who she was.  Or at least she’d assume I’d know.

My friend W asked how I thought LP would react if she told him she’d seen me, but I cannot imagine her mentioning it. I certainly will probably not mention it.  In fact, unless he asks, I cannot imagine mentioning it.


These are the perils of living in a small town.  We all wander around the same park, eat in the same restaurants, frequent the same clubs.

Discretion is important in small town life.  LP and I were never discreet: we kissed openly in restaurants, in bars, in coffee shops, rarely full-on make out sessions, but we frequently hugged and kissed each other in public and we were rarely anywhere without holding hands.  None of that was particularly smart.  Our exes could be problematic, though they were, at least at the time, legitmately ex.

Seeing LP’s ex on the street was just beyond weird.  It was bound to happen, and it happened under the best possible circumstances: no interaction with her, no interaction of me with anyone else.  It was a good reminder that anything can happen at any time, and that it’s always good to assume that life is being lived very much in public.  Such is life in a small town.