I have been writing and not posting, but not writing so very much.  Life has gotten busy and complex.  I am, as TNG likes to remind me, a complicated woman with a complicated life.

As time goes on, I am beginning to fall for TNG.  He’s . . . really wonderful.  Sweet, and loving, and romantic, and affectionate, and all of the things BFD was not.  Also, present, which LP has not been.  There are issues, of course, which I’ll discuss at length at some point, but it’s been a while since I’ve posted and I want to get some things out.

TNG, I truly adore.  I see him frequently, I speak to him daily, and he’s wonderful.  Last night, I had to grocery shop for a new mini-diet challenge (I gained 7 pounds dating him, which took me from a 2/4 to a 4, I know, good problems to have. Will discuss more later.), so he drove into town (he lives in the adjacent burbs in a beautiful house near W, JF, and JFG) to pick me up. We walked through the market, talking at length to the butcher and the fishmonger and leaving with groceries for me (for which I paid, like $25 for weeks worth of food) and dinner for us (for which he paid like $60).  We went back to his place, had an extraordinary dinner that we cooked together and just loved being together.  With TNG, I have a man who loves being with me.  He thinks I am hot and beautiful and his only complaint is when I walk around with too much clothing on.  When we are together in public, even at the market, we’re always holding hands or touching in some way.  We look very much in love.  We’re not.  Or at least, I am not yet there, but I’ve been dating him for about 3.5 weeks again, and for a couple of months before that before I broke up with him twice.

So, he makes me very happy.

The 7 pounds I gained, he lost, and he’s becoming better looking every time I see him.  He also takes care of me in wonderful ways — from turning on my seat heater without my asking to actually helping me stick to my diet (“I think you look amazing, but I know you want to lose weight for you . . . so long as you’re healthy, I don’t care what you weigh.  If you’re not healthy, I am calling your mom.”).

My friends love him.  His family and family friends love me.  Even my ex A has met him and they made vague plans for a training ride (they’re both cyclists).

But, I am going slowly and figuring things out.

All of that has been great.  Except for LP.

LP has been reappearing lately.  We’ve been communicating more, and more extensively and he actually called me Sunday night and told me how much he wants to be with me, etc.  It’s hard and I am not saying no to anything.  But I am not saying yes either.

There are issues with TNG that may be unresolvable. But I love the life we’re creating together and he supports me and has my back unlike anyone since the early years with A.

The others: BFD is still around, but I’ve not seen him since the day before I went out with TNG again.  Co-hosted a big party with N at his house, which was wildly entertaining.  I have gone out on dates with others since I’ve been dating TNG, but nothing of real consequence.

Day 1 of the diet: (no alcohol, low carbs): lost 2 pounds.  Current weight: 124.0.  Goal weight: 115.

Real updates to come.  I promise.  🙂