When I hear LP say “soon,” I am always thrilled. It’s a semi-meaningless thing for him to say, but it makes me so happy.


He said it … and let me say quickly that when I say “said” I almost always mean via text … on July 28 and again last night.

I am beginning to believe him…

We have been communicating regularly for a few weeks. LP has been traveling and/or working 20 hour days since I last saw him TWO months ago. I have been working around the clock, working weekends, so we’ve been commiserating.

Life has been markedly improving for me, too. Not life exactly so much as my attitude. My breakdown has paid huge dividends and I am remarkably happy and positive and filled with happy energy. So I have been reaching out to LP to buoy his flagging spirits and to share my good news and warm feelings of joy.

On the 28th, I sent him a mid-afternoon text: “today had taken a turn for the awesome on all fronts, so I am sending positive energy your way.” He responded enthusiastically and wanted details, then shared he was “super busy still” and “tired.” I asked, far more forward than usual: “do you think your tiredness would be helped by the presence of a hot naked chick in your bed?”

He repsonded with three messages in quick succession: “Soon” “Yes” “especially if she’d like to [redacted, but cute and a reference to a joke from our night together]”


The next week (last week) was hard. He was gone and/or working and less responsive. More importantly, it was my birthday and I did want desperately to spend the night with him. I did not suggest it and no offer was forthcoming. I had enough to deal with as I had a friend dying (the words medically induced coma were bandied about among the team if five doctors treating him) and another friend going through a double mastectomy.

On my birthday, drunkenly and lateish,I emailed him a photo from our favorite 5 star restaurant, which LP, BFD, BP and I each frequent. He responded immediately which meant he was still working.

We know I stalk his ex secretly on Twitter, right? (Don’t judge me.) So I wondered when she mentioned a “family vacation” if he were going too. The end of my bday week, he apparently was. They took their kid on a trip before school starts back up.

It has not gone according to her plan, according to her. She’s bored and they’re not staying together. She occassionally tells the truth, referring to how rare their “family time” is. Anyway, I was unsurprisingly quite displeased. I know they vacation together for their kid. I know they stay in suites and not
“together” but still I was pissed.

As I was pissed, I decided yesterday to reach out to him, to torment him. I can be cruel, I suppose. I was also quite curious to know if he’d tell me the truth.

Remarkably, he did.

I texted him during lunch that I knew how busy he was working (when i knew he was absolutely not) but I’d love to see new pictures of him, as I’d not gotten any new ones since his tux photos weeks ago. Around 630, I received his response — three photos he’d taken of himself, two from that day (after I’d made my request) and one from the day before. My response was sincere: “you look so great! I am so happy to see you looking so tan and relaxed!” And he looked so gorgeous. He is a very handsome man, and just sexy and playful. We exchanged texts and more photos over the course of the next two hours. It was wonderful and he said he loved what I sent him, describing them alternatively as “Hot!!!” and “Fucking hot”. Heh.

Late in the conversation, he told me “I want to feel you [redacted] soon.”


I told him quickly “You will. [redacted]” then I told him “I need to feel you…”

He is gone, he is away, but I believe him when he says “soon.”