The difficulty of making fantasies reality is that reality is messy and lots of things can go wrong.

The difficulty of having a relationship with someone complicated is that it is sometimes hard to tell the difference between love and obsession.

When you have two very strong people shadowboxing and then boxing and then looking at each other across the ring after withdrawing to neutral corners … well, it’s a little hard to tell if we can come back together after things went awry.

The reality is that it did. The reality is that I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the chest. The reality is he feels so hurt that he’s not currently speaking to me. I know where and how it went awry. I made two big mistakes, two big miscalculations, so the fact that I can still smell his cologne on my skin is sickening me rather than bathing me in the warm loving feelings I had this afternoon. And he’s not speaking to me… and I can’t fix it.