Sitting in the dark, now six hours into our date, we are often holding both hands as he touches my thigh or my hip. I caress his shoulder from time to time, but we’re just enjoying the closeness of being cuddled together in the dark watching an excellent film.

When I hit the ladies room after the movie, I realize that my dress is a little wet and I thank fashion for giving me a lined sheath sundress to avoid further social embarrassment. We stop by the car and kiss and have absolutely no idea what to do next.


He has said he’s not feeling well… now thinking he has the same stomach virus I do. But we kiss and agree that I will drive him home, drive back to my place, and we’d reconvene for dinner later.

We switch out drivers when we’re ready to cross the tracks, but he continues driving. When we arrive at his place, we kiss again and I utter a couple of momentous words: “is your roommate home?” He texts her and confirms she’s not and they joke to each other that she should consider this text a tie on the door handle. She asks who he is bringing back to the house, but he does not tell her, although she knows we’ve been out on dates.

He directs me immediately into his suite and closes the door. The place is very nice, an elegant townhouse, but we are both rather committed to kissing and with no intermediate steps we’re making out like we’re in high school. (Which was attending while I was already a practicing lawyer.)

Nothing of consequence happened, he unzipped here and there (I was in a sheath), but I remained completely clothed. We kissed so much and for so long that he abraided my chin and the tip of my nose. He was clean shaven when he’d picked me up 7 hours before, but we were not aware until later that he would do so much damage to my face.

We had already agreed that we were not having sex of any kind and I had explained to him the night before that it was essential to me that he understood the boundaries I was clearly setting. (He is 6 inches taller than me and at least 70 pounds heavier, so I wanted there to me no misunderstandings. I also knew I could leave.)

After we decided to stop, cuddled together on his bed, I realized just how damaged my face had become. I tried to put it back together, but I looked a bit sunburned, and very very happy. We pulled ourselves together and headed back to my place so I could feed the cat and grab my allergy meds (it never occurred to me I’d be gone so long). We went back to the casual restaurant in my hood, a locally owned, locally sourced place, and ordered a light meal.

Something went awry with my order and the restaurant was very slow to fix it. I asked the guy 3 times and he never got my tea order in. YM, who, still ailing, was getting a little cranky, said, at the 45 minute mark, I am going to go find the manager. I asked him not to, I just wanted us to wrap up and leave, but he did, and she came to our table to apologize, ask if she could adjust the bill, and was quite sincere about it. He apologized to me the next day, but I had just wanted him to not stress as I was watching his health decline precipitously.

We walked back to pick up the car and drove home, again, kissing passionately as we arrived, with his roommate still not there, but I left him and went home. We then spoke on the phone for another two hours before finally bringing out marathon date to a close.

To recap:

An hour on the phone pre-date
Brunch at a fabulous new restaurant
Coffee at the hipster coffee joint
Wandering around the shopping district looking at gifts and furniture
A movie
An afternoon makeout session
Dinner at the casual local joint
Two hours on the phone post-date

There are lots of interesting things about him that give him a depth and gravity that probably don’t come across well in my brief (for me) retelling of the events of our date. I like him for who he is, and I like him for how he treats me. He has figured out the right combination of moves to keep me moving where he wants me, which is into his arms and into his bed. He has overcome a lot of serious health things (nearly dying 3x and spending his fortune on experimental treatments, which worked). He confessed to me late Monday night that it is highly highly unlikely that he can have kids.

He is the exboyfriend of my best friend JF’s exgirlfriend/love of his life. JF dated her immediately after YM (and a little during, though JF does not know that they were still dating when JF met her), so YM thinks JF should be okay with it, as YM would be the one aggrieved I just know it will mean JF will know lots of horrible little things about him that I will have to hear for years into the future, no matter how long YM and I actually date.

Being with someone younger and active is a huge change for me. Scheduling our dates is complicated by his full social life(!), and the fact we’ve both been ill. He’s not as intelligent or educated or worldly as the men I typically date. He’s certainly not as successful, but that’s like comparing a local rock star to Eric Clapton. He’s trying to find a new career path, working here and there. He’s done well, traveled widely, and lived as he’s chosen. He’s interesting in a lot of ways, and at this point, I am excited to get to know him better.

We’ll see how it goes.

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