Unsurprisingly, I have encountered romantic turmoil with the Younger Man, the man I was/still am/have no idea actual status dating.

This is what happened:

We both became very ill.  I had a stomach virus — fever, nausea, threw up at my desk.  And then, so did he.  It lingered.  For a couple of weeks.

We had our amazing marathon date, on which we agreed we would start sleeping together.  Neither one of us wanted necessarily to be romantically exclusive but we worked out the whole sexual monogamy thing.  I told him we were going to wait, and he was fine with that.  We had a date scheduled for the next day, but he canceled, very ill.  Fine.  We talked extensively via chat, via phone, via email, flirted a bit on the twitter (yes, really) and shared a lot of super-intimate things.

In short, things were great… aside from our ailments.

On Thursday, one of his best friends lost her job.  I was going out with my friends to a wine bar in our neighborhood and I noticed that he’d been checking in to places all day.  He had been cute and normal in the morning. We had joked about the upcoming sex we would be having. He had checked in with me to tell me what was going on, but he was distant which was okay.  He was still sick and had a bunch of friends coming in for the weekend.

We talked briefly about my meeting up with his people on Saturday but it did not work out in my schedule.  He had invited me before but I felt distance and called him to say, somewhat coldly, are you sure you want me to come when you’re going to be entertaining like 75 people, but he said I should.  For a lot of reasons, it didn’t, which was okay.  He was ailing further and it was a bit of a disaster. We’d spoken and known we had tight schedules for the week to come, so I’d asked him specifically, Tuesday night or Wednesday.  He wasn’t very responsive, so I pressed a little.

That lead to: meltdown.

On September 13, we had this long, intense chat where he confessed all of this stress and anxiety he’s dealing with in his career and not working and all this nonsense.  He’d sold a business, so he has some money coming in, but we all know I am not an inexpensive date. And he has not had luck in finding a new career.

So, of course, I agree to give him space, he agrees he still wants to see me, and we alleviate the pressure.  I continue my life.  We talk extensively every day via chat, email, text, social media, games, whatever.  Always now on his impetus.

N, who I dated pre-BFD and who is now also dating BFD’s post-me ex-gf . . . yeah, I know . . . took me to dinner at the best restaurant in town.  I kissed him a bit, but ugh, kissing him  feels like a chore, not a pleasure.

Kissing YM . . . felt amazing. Really.  BFD and LP, I love kissing them.  TNG, too.  The N thing just bothers me because it is awkward and there is no real chemistry.  And I love kissing.

So I got home from the 5 star 3 course meal with N, to a message from YM asking for help on his resume.  So we worked online until 130 am on a Sunday night.

He’s still ill.  So ill he eventually has to go to the doctor, so ill I called the medical professional in my family to see if I should call 911.

So, days pass and he’s out running around with some friends and going to occasional parties and I am living my life, too, but we’re still talking.  Then Friday, we get into a bit of a public fight.  On twitter.

(I know.)

His friends are teasing him a bit about me.  He’s told them about me.  I’ve not told mine really about him, so all they know is that this guy whose sort of not in our circle, he’s more of a younger, brasher, sports guy, is being a little mean to me.  I get angry, incensed really, and then realize it’s a joke.

No one else does.

The next day, he’s really distant.  It’s a Saturday, and there is a big game, and day drinking starts early.  For me, it ended at a reasonable time.