Dating in the age of social media is fraught with peril. With BFD, I only had to worry about him toggling stupid stuff on his page. With YM, it is all more complicated.
Right now, we are not dating. He says he’s not dating anyone, as he’s so stressed about money and finding a new career.
YM and I speak extensively, hours everyday, and he’s funny and sweet and caring and sensitive, and just the right amount of demanding, which we know I like.
We flirt, too, but we are less overtly intimate than we had been when we were actively dating.
Yesterday, I got up, changed out of pajamas into a cute nightgown and sat down in my home office to work. It was YM’s first day back after his trip and I was intentionally ignoring him. I often intentionally ignore him, allowing him to make the first contact every day.
I heard from him a little after noon and we chatted via im for a couple of hours. When I told him I’d not eaten or gotten actually dressed, he said “I should be able to see this.” I agreed and he suggested that my iPhone has a camera and is capable of sending pictures. So I sent him a few completely safe for work.
We continued chatting on and off for hours and making tentative plans for Wednesday afternoon. He is to help me moving my library into my living room as he’s he’s young and without back issues.
We talked even more at night and as we started to fall asleep, I told him he should spend the night some time,
He’d told me Tuesday was an errand-filled day with plans from breakfast through dinner. I did not think much about it.
He was more disconnected than usual as he’d just bought a new iphone4. I was ridiculously busy. I saw him check in where our mutual friend D was. D is a single girl, young like 26 at oldest, and a bit of a lush. She is also creative and awesome and YM had been telling me we should be friends.
They had each mentioned to me last week that they were planning to hang out this week. When i saw her last week, we talked a little about YM, but I did not tell her I’d gone out with him. YM was disappointed I hadn’t told her we’d kissed, which I find quite amusing.
I am considered out of YM’s league by everyone including YM.
Anyway, I didn’t think much about it until D posted she was with YM. Weird. Then he posted that he was with her. Oooookay….
Only a handful of my friends are connected to them, but those who are were immediately reahin out to me to ask if D and YM were dating. I ultimately answered how the fuck should I know.
About an hour into their post-dinner bar adventure, she @’d me saying the consensus is we should be friends. I responded openly that I’d heard the same thing. Neither of us mentioned YM, but I knew what she was saying. She was saying they’d been talking about me.
At this point, I calmed down. No one else did. I got cute private messages of support. And I did check gchat wondering when he’d be back home. I finally fell asleep about 130, after they’d gone to a second bar and were clearly drinking a lot.
I woke the next morning to cute texts from him before 830 wishing me a great day.
Was it a date? Probably not. They were each paying. D posted @ing me that about their evening this morning. Could they have drunkenly made out at some point? Sure. It’s possible. But I know from both of them that they wanted me to know it was a friend thing.
It was a strange thing to deal with. As I said, we are not currently dating, but we are in a relationship of some kind. We genuinely like each other romantically. We have a dinner planned to celebrate when he signs his new contract. We even talked about a little vacation together. But we are not really together now and I am dating other people, so if it were a date it would be okay, but he’d be an ass.