On Friday, BFD called me to ask me to dinner with him and three professional dancers in their early 20s, who I also know. I accepted, of course, as I like these girls very much and I knew BFD needed me. He called me 3 times Saturday morning and then texted me as their plans came together: an afternoon movie and then sushi at an elegant downtown spot.

I skipped the movie, as I had plans with  FM to watch his hometown team’s playoff game. I dressed with dinner in mind, so I wore a little black dress, tights, boots, and one of FM’s jerseys. I look ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than any other way I could have worn the jersey.

Post-game, we were still awaiting our tabs and I was awaiting a text from BFD when my girlfriend C tapped me excitedly. It was BFD, standing on the opposite side of our long table, just in front of FM. How he found us on the second floor of this huge place… he was fully BFD — whole world revolving around him, excited to see me, excited to be himself. He grabbed someone else’s chips as we headed out of the room, which was so like him and so utterly uncouth for anyone. And yet, it’s there, right?

I slid into the back with two of the dancers already in his luxury suv as we headed off downtown. The dancers had asked BFD why I hadn’t been training, but they were to embarrassed to ask me themselves, so he said “e wants to know …”. Adorable.

We caught up a little while the dancer who was already there tried to figure out where BFD and his entourage should sit. He looked like the luckiest guy in the world — me and three beautiful dancers. He handled the table logistics and I handled everything else — ordering, serving, cocktails, eating, conversation flow. At every moment where a decision needed to be made, I made it. He picked up the check.

He said to me later that I am a good foil for him and that my presence made the night fun. I make him more
fun. He is more relaxed in my presence and I will talk — about anything — to help people feel comfortable and engaged. I made fun of him in light ways, mostly about his famously appallingly bad taste in music.

He told a couple of inappropriate anecdotes because he forgets sometimes  (read: always!) that he is wealthy and the people with him are not. He is charming despite this tone-deafness and you learn to smile past it.

I kept the food and drink flowing, directed the waitress as though I were in fact the hostess, which I suppose I am, and kept convo light and airy.

BFD turned to me a few times and said “oh, we should go there” or “yes, let’s do that.” It seemed that he is interested in seeing me again.

At the end of the evening, he drove me home and kissed me a couple of times.

Overall, it was very much like being his wife. He appreciates who I am in the way I wish he had when we were still together.