Dating, dating, dating.

At this point, I am down to the top 3 contenders. Some have drifted off into the ether, some came on too hard or too soft.  Some I forgot about. Others forgot about me.

There are a few others floating around, but there are three men I am genuinely interested in . . .

  • BV, my handsome 31 year old Bon Vivant slacker,
  • WD, the creative executive in his mid-40s with whom I had the excellent wine date, and
  • the man who *finally* got around to asking me out today, and for whom I do not yet have a nickname.

BV was, in many ways, number one on my list.  I met him out, we have spoken more, spent more time together, and we had an emotional connection.

Except . . .

His follow-through has been awful.  He forgot we had a date scheduled on Tuesday.  Today, I invited him to a party for tomorrow night.  So, of course, I’ve not heard from him.  Granted, he was my second choice for tomorrow. (More on him later.)  And, he’s not asked me out again.


I am not writing him off entirely.  I did have a good connection with him.  My girlfriend RA did a long workout last night and when I told her about him, she said, aw, so he’s turned your heart into a sweater, that’s so cute.  When I went on with the tale, she said, so, now he’s made a scarf and mittens from your heart . . . this will go well.  But the truth which RA and I both acknowledged is that I understand his charm is limited and I am only letting him in to the extent I feel comfortable.

We also acknowledged: it would be fun and it would hurt.

Hard to say what will happen.  I assume he’s still in the game, but I am also prepared to never hear from him again.  That’s okay, too.  It just hastens the inevitable, but with the potential to avoid all heartache.  Win.

WD is more attractive to me than I can believe.  First, he’s not handsome.  He’s not unattractive — he’s fit, he’s interesting, but like FM, he’s not handsome.  Second, he’s older than I’ve been dating — and he looks his age.  He looks like a fit man in his mid 40s.  The irony, of course, is he is exactly the same age as BFD and LP, and yet, to me, he looks much older, though they are both smokers.  Ah, genetics.

But he’s interesting and he’s enthusiastic about things in exactly the same way I am.  Like being with him is so comfortable.

He texted me yesterday from a business trip to let me know he was there (and what the weather is, of course) and then sent me this:

So it might be trite, but I really want to go to [my favorite restaurant] on Sat night…thoughts? And I’m not kowtowing to the judges

He is referring to the fact he knows I am dating and that he is essentially in competition with other men.  I asked him why it would be trite, as it’s my favorite and I’ve not been there for months.  I’d love to go there.

He responded:

Because it is your favorite restaurant. I don’t want to be so expected. 😉 [fave resto] it is.

My next text made him blush, he said:

Secret: I love the place so much I am very very particular about who I’d go with

Which is totally true.  The only other dates I would have considered: PR, who has asked me there a couple of times, and LP, but I was foolishly in love with him forever.

WD is interesting, and we’re very comfortable together in a way I really enjoy.  So, date 2 will be on Saturday night at my favorite restaurant.  It’s a high bar he is setting, and it says a lot about what his expectations are.  There is real potential between us, and he is going far to demonstrate his worthiness.

And now we have the Third Man.  I have no idea what to call him.  Well, I have some idea.  He is someone I’ve not yet met.  He is still a stranger to me.  But, he has been someone with whom I have been exchanging emails.  They are a little hard to describe.  They are sort of slice of life, sort of philosophic, and just enough content to intrigue the other.  They are also long.

We send messages back and forth every couple of days, often late at night, as we figured out exactly what our first date should be: drinks downtown, some cultural activity, brunch, wandering our local waterfront park, or some combination thereof.  We actually have not decided yet.  I sent him a notice for a free performance near a hip entertainment district, he countered with an expensive performance earlier in the afternoon by an award-winning group.  What I am most interested to do is to see how he is in person.  He reminds me in appearance of BFD, but more studious and serious.

He looks somewhat professorial.  He seems brilliant.  He is fascinating.

He is a catch.  He, like BFD, is cosmopolitan and well-traveled.  He will be traveling frequently between the two coasts and Europe.  I am a little intimidated by the other women like me who would find him intriguing.

But, as with BFD, I do often win those battles.  I am exactly the type of woman I man like him is actually looking for.  We will see how it goes, but I am intrigued in all the right ways.

Today’s win: we finally picked a day.  I had sent him an invite to a party I am going to tomorrow.  He declined, saying he was available the rest of the weekend, but just not Friday night.  I am not available Saturday.  I’ve spent the past two Sundays with BV, soI am intentionally scheduling something else then.

It’s all still so early I have no idea if I will still remember any of these men’s names in another month, but for now, I am excited about what is happening with the top 3.